Savannah just can't wrap her head around the concept of Heaven. It seems like every day there is a conversation about Heaven that leaves her puzzled and me without the perfect answers. As I am driving this evening, Savannah asks:
"Can you take your toys with you to Heaven?"
"I don't know sweetie."
"Why don't you know?"
"Because I have never been there."
"Well, just call Heaven and see if we can? Just call Mary and Joseph, they will be able to tell you."
"They don't have phones in Heaven."
"Just give Mary your cell phone. Let her borrow it so she can talk on it."
"I don't think that is going to work."
"But Mommy, I need to know if I can take Bunny to Heaven."
Between the questions about eating and sleeping in Heaven and Savannah telling us we can keep something forever ("You can even take it with you to Heaven) I am at a loss of how to explain the unexplainable. Can someone please tell me how to explain Heaven to a four year old because this Mommy doesn't seem to have all the answers?
Monday, January 28, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Never a Dull Moment
I have spent many hours (days??) worrying whether or not the girls will be "normal." A large part of "normal," is the picture I have in my head. Girls who can WALK, talk and move like your average person. It is hard to believe, but there was a time when no one could tell me whether or not either girl would do any of the above. I had visions of wheelchairs, walkers, and walking with a limp. Well, those visions are slowly being pushed to the back of my mind. Not forgotten entirely, but by no means as big of a concern as they once were.
I look at my girls and I can't believe how much they have accomplished. Lila Grace continues to move, climb and walk in ways that I never imagined. Having never experienced a climber, explorer or mischievous child, I am constantly surprised when I walk around the corner. For example, I hear the twins babbling to one another and banging toys around on the train table while I clean up after dinner. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would find Lila Grace standing in the center of the table while Adeline happily cruises from side to side.
Adeline, is making slow but steady progress. She has learned to cruise, get up and down from standing (while supported), and climb in and out of things like train table drawers. This is the baby that five months ago couldn't sit up!!!! Slow and steady wins the race, right???
Although this ability to move and transition into a variety of positions keeps me on my toes and some days, continually wiping tears away, I am grateful for it. I guess that is why I have mixed emotions when I see my children in precarious positions. Do I grab the camera or assist them to safer grounds? I guess it all goes to show that children don't ever disappoint. Although, I may underestimate my girls at times, they never underestimate themselves.
I look at my girls and I can't believe how much they have accomplished. Lila Grace continues to move, climb and walk in ways that I never imagined. Having never experienced a climber, explorer or mischievous child, I am constantly surprised when I walk around the corner. For example, I hear the twins babbling to one another and banging toys around on the train table while I clean up after dinner. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would find Lila Grace standing in the center of the table while Adeline happily cruises from side to side.
Adeline, is making slow but steady progress. She has learned to cruise, get up and down from standing (while supported), and climb in and out of things like train table drawers. This is the baby that five months ago couldn't sit up!!!! Slow and steady wins the race, right???
Although this ability to move and transition into a variety of positions keeps me on my toes and some days, continually wiping tears away, I am grateful for it. I guess that is why I have mixed emotions when I see my children in precarious positions. Do I grab the camera or assist them to safer grounds? I guess it all goes to show that children don't ever disappoint. Although, I may underestimate my girls at times, they never underestimate themselves.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
These Shoes Were Made for Walking!
I finally broke down and bought the girls a pair of shoes. They have been wearing the Robeez moccasin shoes for the past four months. I love them because they are like walking around with bare feet and don't come off unless Mommy takes them off. Unfortunately, the girls' physical therapist started requesting time in shoes which sent me to the shoe store in search of shoes!
Well, Adeline doesn't seemed bothered by her shoes. Off or on, she doesn't care. Lila Grace cares!! She can't stand wearing them on carpet. She stumbles, trips and eventually sits down and takes them off. Often I see one hanging from the mouth as she "limps" over to me requesting that I take the other shoe off as well. This "shoe frustration" seems to subside when she is downstairs. Oh, the clickety clack of the soles on the hardwood floors is music to Lila Grace's ears. If you catch her with her shoes on downstairs, she is most likely doing laps. . . back and forth with a few giggles in between.
Well, Adeline doesn't seemed bothered by her shoes. Off or on, she doesn't care. Lila Grace cares!! She can't stand wearing them on carpet. She stumbles, trips and eventually sits down and takes them off. Often I see one hanging from the mouth as she "limps" over to me requesting that I take the other shoe off as well. This "shoe frustration" seems to subside when she is downstairs. Oh, the clickety clack of the soles on the hardwood floors is music to Lila Grace's ears. If you catch her with her shoes on downstairs, she is most likely doing laps. . . back and forth with a few giggles in between.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Last Snowman??
As I sit and watch the snow accumulate, I wonder, "Is this our last snowstorm?" "Will the babies ever know what it is like to build a snowman?" "Will they ever be driven from the couch with the desire to catch snowflakes on their tongues like their big sister was today (with two ear infections and a fever)? "
I guess the trade off of our move will be a winter that is warmer and healthier. Less illness is worth is worth a winter without snow in my opinion.
I guess the trade off of our move will be a winter that is warmer and healthier. Less illness is worth is worth a winter without snow in my opinion.
Monday, January 14, 2008
One Man's Work is Another Man's Joy
Who would think that dirty laundry could be so fun? Lila Grace didn't come up for air until well after 30 minutes of dragging the laundry in and out of the laundry basket. Clearly, Santa got it wrong this year. Who needs toys, when you have dirty clothes?
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Developmental Follow-Up Appointment
This post is extremely overdue.
We took the girls to their developmental follow-up appointment on December 5th. These appointments are always days when I hold my breath, pray my girls are in good spirits and try not to be reduced to tears when hearing about all the "issues" Adeline could have down the road.
During the first hour or two of the appointment, both girls meet with psychologist. This portion of the appointment has been rather hard for Adeline in the past. It requires her to sit up (mainly unassisted) and perform certain tasks. This appointment was the first time Adeline could sit independently which significantly decreased her work of breathing etc. This allowed her to concentrate on the task.
After reviewing Adeline's chart the psychologist felt it appropriate to start her line of questioning with, "Can she sit up?" I was happy to report that she could sit up, roll over, commando crawl and pull to stand. This was an obvious surprise. Adeline then started her testing and to my relief was in good spirits. She smiled and babbled, listened and tried to perform while at the same time was her endearing self. Of course, after an hour and a half of being asked to "find the car," and "put the block in the cup," every baby starts to show signs of disinterest.
After both girls were done testing we were given a report of their progress. Lila, as we expected was a super star and showed no clear signs of delay. Of course, they are correcting both girls when they assess them and therefore, on target would mean 12 months, not the 15 months that they are. We were told, "You would never know Lila was a preemie - we just can't believe how well she is walking - she is strong."
Adeline's report was a bit different and a huge surprise. . .
"Adeline's developmental skills are progressing well, and she has made a number of gains since her last assessment. Her cognitive, play , receptive language, fine motor, behavioral, and social-emotional development are currently within the expectations for her adjusted age. Remaining areas of delay include expressive language and gross motor skills."
Translation. . . she actually fell within the NORMAL category!! Granted it is the low end of normal but I will take it. I was so proud of her. Never have we heard someone step out and say, "She is in the normal range" with anything. "Delayed, slow progress etc." is what we are more accustomed to. I was shocked and relieved. So proud to be her mom!! She has worked very hard for this report.
I still fee that it is important to point out that Adeline is still behind. There is no doubt about that. There is a range for specific domains of development. For example, it may be normal for a child to walk any where from 9-15 months. That would be our girls. Adeline closer to 15 months and Lila closer to 9. When watching them in the same room, the difference in their development is notable. Lila Grace, walks, climbs falls and doesn't miss a beat. She says, Ki Ki for kitty, uh-oh, Elmo, all done, and signs for more. Adeline, is just starting to cruise, crawls slowly and babbles da-da and ba-ba. We hope for her to start to move from the low range of normal to an average range.
We aren't quite there yet, and Adeline has a lot of WORK ahead of her. There are questions about her leg and why it turns out when she stands. Cerebral Palsy has not been taken off the table yet. Speech is a concern and the fact that she is reluctant to eat table foods troubles some.
I become less troubled over time. This is who we are - who they are. I can't change it. For the most part I wouldn't change anything. There are moments when I get caught up in my girls and prematurity is so far from my mind. My frustration and stress is rarely linked to their prematurity these days - more toddler related "moments." For the most part I feel "normal." Well, as normal as I can with 4 therapists in my house and 8 hours of weekly therapy for the girls.
Figured I should mention the following to those of you who don't get to see the girls. We don't look normal - (Adeline is smaller than a 7 month old and Lila is no where near a 16 month old in size) - both girls are still in their infant car seats. Adeline is 17 pounds and Lila just hit 20. Not bad when you consider where they started and how hard they work to hit their milestones.
Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes leading up to this appointment. We are so lucky. There are no words to describe how amazed I am when I look at pictures of the girls during their first days of life while at the same time letting the word "normal" sit in the back of my mind.
Congratulations girls!!! You couldn't have made me more proud!!
We took the girls to their developmental follow-up appointment on December 5th. These appointments are always days when I hold my breath, pray my girls are in good spirits and try not to be reduced to tears when hearing about all the "issues" Adeline could have down the road.
During the first hour or two of the appointment, both girls meet with psychologist. This portion of the appointment has been rather hard for Adeline in the past. It requires her to sit up (mainly unassisted) and perform certain tasks. This appointment was the first time Adeline could sit independently which significantly decreased her work of breathing etc. This allowed her to concentrate on the task.
After reviewing Adeline's chart the psychologist felt it appropriate to start her line of questioning with, "Can she sit up?" I was happy to report that she could sit up, roll over, commando crawl and pull to stand. This was an obvious surprise. Adeline then started her testing and to my relief was in good spirits. She smiled and babbled, listened and tried to perform while at the same time was her endearing self. Of course, after an hour and a half of being asked to "find the car," and "put the block in the cup," every baby starts to show signs of disinterest.
After both girls were done testing we were given a report of their progress. Lila, as we expected was a super star and showed no clear signs of delay. Of course, they are correcting both girls when they assess them and therefore, on target would mean 12 months, not the 15 months that they are. We were told, "You would never know Lila was a preemie - we just can't believe how well she is walking - she is strong."
Adeline's report was a bit different and a huge surprise. . .
"Adeline's developmental skills are progressing well, and she has made a number of gains since her last assessment. Her cognitive, play , receptive language, fine motor, behavioral, and social-emotional development are currently within the expectations for her adjusted age. Remaining areas of delay include expressive language and gross motor skills."
Translation. . . she actually fell within the NORMAL category!! Granted it is the low end of normal but I will take it. I was so proud of her. Never have we heard someone step out and say, "She is in the normal range" with anything. "Delayed, slow progress etc." is what we are more accustomed to. I was shocked and relieved. So proud to be her mom!! She has worked very hard for this report.
I still fee that it is important to point out that Adeline is still behind. There is no doubt about that. There is a range for specific domains of development. For example, it may be normal for a child to walk any where from 9-15 months. That would be our girls. Adeline closer to 15 months and Lila closer to 9. When watching them in the same room, the difference in their development is notable. Lila Grace, walks, climbs falls and doesn't miss a beat. She says, Ki Ki for kitty, uh-oh, Elmo, all done, and signs for more. Adeline, is just starting to cruise, crawls slowly and babbles da-da and ba-ba. We hope for her to start to move from the low range of normal to an average range.
We aren't quite there yet, and Adeline has a lot of WORK ahead of her. There are questions about her leg and why it turns out when she stands. Cerebral Palsy has not been taken off the table yet. Speech is a concern and the fact that she is reluctant to eat table foods troubles some.
I become less troubled over time. This is who we are - who they are. I can't change it. For the most part I wouldn't change anything. There are moments when I get caught up in my girls and prematurity is so far from my mind. My frustration and stress is rarely linked to their prematurity these days - more toddler related "moments." For the most part I feel "normal." Well, as normal as I can with 4 therapists in my house and 8 hours of weekly therapy for the girls.
Figured I should mention the following to those of you who don't get to see the girls. We don't look normal - (Adeline is smaller than a 7 month old and Lila is no where near a 16 month old in size) - both girls are still in their infant car seats. Adeline is 17 pounds and Lila just hit 20. Not bad when you consider where they started and how hard they work to hit their milestones.
Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes leading up to this appointment. We are so lucky. There are no words to describe how amazed I am when I look at pictures of the girls during their first days of life while at the same time letting the word "normal" sit in the back of my mind.
Congratulations girls!!! You couldn't have made me more proud!!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas!!
This Christmas I had the pleasure of watching Lila Grace tear open packages, play with toys and delight in all the festivities. She quickly learned that each package had a ribbon tied around it which could be used as a scarf! Possibly the best part of Christmas for Lila. The fact that she figured it out, could manipulate the ribbon and had fun doing so was impressive to me. Lila is strong, healthy and accomplishing more than I ever had imagined a year ago. This baby is NORMAL for the moment and I rejoice in that.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Christmas Eve
Congratulations to my little Adeline on the anniversary of her homecoming!!
Sometimes if feels like a lifetime and some days I am still in awe that it has already been a year. This Christmas Eve I celebrated Adeline! Her strength and determination has powered her through. The road has been long and hard but Miss Adeline holds her head high and continues to defy the odds. It is a privilege to journey beside her.
I love you baby girl!!!
Sometimes if feels like a lifetime and some days I am still in awe that it has already been a year. This Christmas Eve I celebrated Adeline! Her strength and determination has powered her through. The road has been long and hard but Miss Adeline holds her head high and continues to defy the odds. It is a privilege to journey beside her.
I love you baby girl!!!
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