Peace on the First Day of School

I have never had such peace before on the first day of school.  The first day usually has me wrapped up in knots with fear that my girls aren't going to hang, will fall back and show that long awaited "other shoe dropping."  This year is different.  I feel that West Chester Friends is exactly where my girls belong.  It is kind, nurturing and works hard to let every child shine their light.  My girls certainly have a light.  Sometimes, it just takes a little digging to let it shine at full capacity.  I am confident that they will be a beacon of light before the end of the year. 

Kindergarten typically is surrounded with the stresses of,

Is my child going to learn to read?
Will she learn to talk in front of a group?
Will she be well received by the others in the class?
Math and numbers. . . SO SCARY!

This Kindergarten year is different.  My girls can read!  They really read.  It is amazing.  They write too.  Oddly enough, Lila is more reluctant than Adeline with her writing but they both write independently.  Both girls hold their own in front of the class.  Again, Adeline is more comfortable with this than Lila.  And, they both can work with numbers, counting, addition, and patterns.  For this, my heart rests easy.  Maybe, I won't have to reinforce everything that is going on in the classroom on a daily basis.  That is what I did last year while Lila attended public school Kindergarten.  Maybe, this year will be EASY!

Because I have tremendous faith in the girls' teacher and the format of the school day/curriculum, I have confidence that my girls will soar this year.  This is the first time I have ever felt this way.  The years and years of therapy, worry and painfully hard work is paying off.  The girls are mainstreaming nicely.  In fact, their teacher is mighty impressed by their writing and willingness to help others with their writing.  I find it shocking that Adeline is moving around the classroom helping her peers spell "the."  The visual brings tears to my eyes.

Today, my heart rests.  Today I am at peace.  Today, I cry tears of joys.  When I look back over this blog, I see a desperate and broken mommy trying very hard to give her girls the chance of normal.  With the help of so many and hard work from my girls, they are normal and I am finally healing.  I am finally finding some peace.  As I told another preemie mom, "I am at peace for the first time in six years.  I am okay with who we are and where are."  This peace feels so good.  Maybe, just maybe the peace was there the entire time but I wasn't ready to accept it, let it in.  Who knows.  Maybe it is a process.