A few evenings ago, I decided to pack the girls up and head out to Costco. It sounded much more appealing than listening to the whines and fusses of the nighttime "witching hour." On our way there, Savannah asked, "Mommy do you remember when you had to sit in a wheelchair at Costco?" At first, I wasn't quite sure what she was talking about but suddenly it came to me, along with that reminiscent pit in my stomach.
And so the story goes. . .
After being discharged just over 48 hours after having the girls, I was a lost soul. Driving home without the babies, leaving them fighting for life, wondering how we were going to do this for months - not days, and finally, trying to figure out how to fit back into my old life left me overwhelmed. My first line of defense - outside of lying in bed and crying all day- was pretending it was all just a bad dream. "I am going to regain NORMALCY!" And like any faithful Washingtonian would do, I headed to Costco.
I head into Costco, thinking that I am really in the state of mind to browse. Of course, five minutes later I am weak in my feet, dizzy and dripping with sweat. In the name of "NORMALCY" I tell Alex to push me in a wheelchair and we will continue our outing. I know, it all sounds far from normal but in my wacky state of mind I thought it was.
Those days were surreal, one moment I was fine and the next moment I had such a severe pit in my stomach that I had to sit down in order to not pass out. It took a good two weeks for me to stand in the NICU while being debriefed by a doc or nurse.
So what is my point???
Looking back to that day while, at the same time, driving all three of my girls to Costco, I count my blessings. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that my girls would be hanging out in the backseat while Mommy drives them to Costco when just 17 months prior, the thought of my "girls" made weak on my feet.
Just when I start to fed up with typical toddler fussiness, I am given a bit of perspective by my four year old. God works in mysterious ways!
