Well, interestingly enough, we didn't get to keep our appointment with the behavioral therapist. Adeline was graced with a round of violent puking the night before. But that isn't really the point of this post.
Ever since I posted, my husband thinks too honestly, about Lila, I have had my baby girl at the forefront of my brain. It seems that putting it in writing made our difficulties more real which only feeds my desire get it "right" when it comes to parenting her. Alex wanted me to take my post down for a couple of reasons. First, there a select few people who view Lila in a less than positive light and he worries that the post will only contribute to those feelings. So be it, I say. I can't worry about people who place questionable judgment on a three year old. Second, he worries that we are creating a reputation for Lila. I don't feel that way. I don't think three year old behavior should play into long term reputations. Shouldn't children get more leeway than that? Just because Miss Grace kicks and screams, "No," now, does not mean she will be throwing desks at her teachers and yelling profanities when she is fifteen. Please appreciate the humor here. So, I leave the post up and my main reason in doing so is for me. I need to see where we stand today and give myself the gift of looking back on today, two months from now. Although things are tough, I believe we will have made progress two, four and six months from now. If not, then we need to reconsider our efforts.
After putting my "Lila thoughts" to keyboard late Tuesday night, I found myself presented with a surprisingly happy and smiling Lila the next morning. The twins are not allowed out of their beds without permission which has never really been an issue. Early Tuesday morning, I was checking my email and hear little footsteps behind me. I assumed it was Savannah looking over my shoulder. When I turned, I saw the most smiley and bright eyed Lila waiting to be noticed. I don't think she knew that getting out her bed in the morning was a no-no so I didn't make a big deal out of it. Instead, I took advantage of the hugs and snuggles she had to offer which are very rare on school day mornings. How amazing it was to be "filled up" by Lila first thing in my morning when typically, we are engaged in dressing wars. Later that day, we found some quality one on one time and I was able to see her many gifts. She is the girl of 100 funny faces, unexpected kisses, and laughs that are contagious. She can be amazingly helpful - when she wants to, and is so proud of the help she gives. We went to dance class and I was the only mom that got the waves and the, "Aren't you so proud of me and all my cuteness?" smiles. It seemed to be one of the days where the public took interest in Lila telling me how beautiful she was. I believe she is absolutely beautiful, both inside and out. I just have the on-going responsibility of helping her channel her spirited personality into something beautiful. As a good friend told me, "God will take care of shaping her heart." I just have to work to provide her the skills, resources, and boundaries to showcase His works in my little girl.
