We have our developmental follow up appointments for the girls this month. When we began going to these appointments, we were desperate for the doctors to look at our girls and say, "Yes, they are going to be normal." Of course they didn't say that because it was way too early to tell. I have finally come to terms with that answer as I know that many things are still to early or to really assess or diagnose. At this point in time, we go to these appointments and recognize that it is a snapshot in time, the girls are two (terrible and terrific wrapped up in one) and the doctors don't know our girls and can't get a full read on them seeing them once every six months. It doesn't mean that we don't receive an educated assessment but I recognize that there are so many variables that come into play when the girls are being assessed and the tool being used does not account for these factors. It goes back to the qualitative vs. quantitative data argument. Which produces stronger data in this situation is up to the eye of the beholder. I believe in a little bit of both.
We chose for the girls to have separate appointments and Lila's was first. Adeline doesn't go for another two weeks. For this appointment, Lila sat at a table for two hours and was asked to point to pictures, hand blue ducks, feed babies, stack blocks, point out body parts etc. for the entire time. She isn't one to do things that aren't on her terms and the second hour was extremely challenging. She would hand things back to the doctor and say, "Thank you, all done." Unfortunately, she didn't get a say and I had to beg and plead with her to do some of the tasks. Many times I wasn't successful and just cringed, knowing that she could complete the task perfectly if she wanted to. After the two hours was over, we waited for 15 minutes for an evaluation of her cognition, speech and fine motor skills. I was really scared that she was going to score low because of her behavior. The verdict: NORMAL!! Ahead of her adjusted age (no need to adjust any longer and we haven't been for awhile anyway) and on target for two and two months. She was even ahead in some areas. I didn't get a detailed analysis which is different from times in the past. Basically, they were impressed with her skills and communciation and couldn't believe she would sit in timeout. How many times did I hear about that which was kind of odd due to the fact that it wasn't an assessment of my parenting skills. (Is it really that abnormal for kids to sit in timeout at two.) After debriefing the aforementioned skills, Lila had to move on to her physical exam and gross motor assessment. This meant people were going to touch her and that puts her into hysterics. Scream she did and jump she did not. This is a girl that mastered gross motor movements early on but wouldn't demonstrate her skills. I guess it was okay because she checked out normal anyway.
We are proud of Miss Grace and realize her road hasn't been easy but has always been perceived that way because of her twin. Many babies born without steroids and under two pounds don't survive. Survive she did and normal she is!! Call it mother's intuition or a sixth sense but I have always thought she was on target and moving onto to being a regular toddler. She has quickly left the road of prematurity behind. There hasn't been a hospitalization, an illness other than cold or ear infection or significant delay in development. Oddly enough, she is ahead of where Savannah was at this age in some areas and has been more healthy than Savannah was at two.
Way to go Miss Grace. I love you and admire your strength and determination.
Lila's homecoming - November 2006
Miss Grace now - as feisty as any other two year old around!
