Goodbye April, Hello May

As I say goodbye to April - my most dreaded month - I am up to my ears in sick kids. Savannah has recovered thankfully, but Adeline is back on the O's and fighting a fever. Lila Grace has a never ending runny nose and terrible cough. Both are wanting Mommy more than normal which makes me feel sick with exhaustion.

Why? Why must April be such a tough month? I have come to conclude that April is a teaser. First, it hits us with cold weather and sick kids. But then it warms up and we find ourselves running around outside in our new summer clothes. That all comes to an abrupt end with our cloudy skies, cold temps and snotty noses.

Here's hoping May brings a breath of fresh air to this germ infested house.

Happy May Day! (This is my absolute favorite art project Savannah has brought home this year)

They're Here

Who would have thought orthodics could be so stinkin' cute!!!

Crossing the Finish Line

We did it! All three of my girls took part this year and what fun we had. It was nice to walk and not be concerned about Adeline's health, the temperature or when the babies' next feeding should be. This year, we headed out with three very happy and content little girls.

I was amazed by the number of people walking this year. I was also struck by the sizable teams walking without in children. Lucky! Blessed!! There isn't a word that can describe how we felt. I think it is safe to assume that Adeline was one of the smallest babies born taking part in the walk. But there she was, standing alone at the starting line, eating the Goldfish like all the other kids at the checkpoints and enjoying the music show afterwards. Anyone looking at her would have no idea of her start in life. The same is true for Lila as she went running off the starting line and was the first dancer in the music show. She was so cute standing in front of the crowd dancing.

Here is a little clip of our photos. We had a really nice time and look forward to participating in many more March of Dimes events.

Never Underestimate Your Children

That was the lesson I learned after spending three hours in the ER with all three girls this past weekend. Oddly enough, Savannah was the cause for the trip with a 104.5 fever, high heart and respiratory rate and listless appearance. After battling it all morning, I finally gave into my motherly instinct and took her in. All of my "go to" people were otherwise occupied which meant the twins were in for the trip as well.

Luckily, the ER wasn't crazy busy as it usually is on Sunday afternoon. Savannah was triaged and we were taken directly too a room (sympathy for the "you've got your hands full" mommy). As I carried Savannah and two bags while pushing the stroller with the girls, I realized that this is what being a mother is all about. You somehow find what it takes to do something that you thought impossible. Taking all three kids to the ER was on my list of impossibilities until Sunday.

First, Savannah was extremely calm, mature, and agreeable. No tears, no fuss just plain cooperation. She laid on the stretcher for three hours with no pillow or blanket and no mommy by her side for the most part. She was patient and told me about every fifteen minutes that she wanted to go but seemed to understand that a departure wasn't going to be in her immediate future.

The twins we amazing as well. Not thinking, I put them in the car about the same time I should have been feeding them lunch. I grabbed Cheerios but nothing more. After their initial complaints of being in a hospital - worrying that they were going to be the ones poked and prodded, the girls just sat in their stroller. I never took them out! I keep feeding them Cheerios and walked them back forth in front of Savannah's room. During the times that Savannah needed my help, someone else walked them or they just watched. No cries, meltdowns and no sleeping, of course, but who's complaining.

We were finally discharged with the intention of hydrating Savannah and bringing her fever and heart rate down at home. That didn't work as well as it was said to have. The anti-nausea medicine didn't work and after hooking her up to Adeline's monitor I watched her heart rate spike to an all time high of 175. Her sats weren't great and her fever was 104 again. Needless to say it was a sleepless night for both of us but we managed. Between the baths and vomiting, we caught a couple of hours of sleep.

Although, it was a stressful situation and I wasn't completely confident in my decision to care for Savannah at home, I feel I did the right thing. I am so proud of all three of my girls. They all rose to the occasion just when I thought things might become disaster. Thankfully, Savannah is better now and we have all caught up on sleep (thanks to Daddy's return home for a few days). We can just add this illness to the long list of nasty viruses we seem to pick up during the month of April.

Can I just say, April is my least favorite month?

March for Babies

We are looking forward to participating in the March of Dimes, March for Babies this upcoming weekend. This year, the girls are older and more active and will be a lot of fun to have with us. Who would have thought that these girls could do some of the "marching" themselves (more later on Adeline's first steps).

I remember feeling so proud of our girls last year. They made it, they were with me, we were on the road to recovery!! We are still on that road to some degree but what a great place to be. We will most likely walk with many families who lost their baby and are still working through their grief. I feel fortunate that I am a walker celebrating my girls and their success.

As this weekend approaches, we ask those of you who follow Adeline and Lila's blog to pray for those babies still fighting in the NICU, those babies who are fighting to stay in the womb just one more day, and for those babies who are home and working to overcome their start "behind the 8 ball."

If you would like to walk this year, you can use the March for Babies link on the side of this blog to direct you to our website and the March for Babies homepage.

What about the chickens?

As the four of us were enjoying chicken strips for dinner, my oldest asks,

"When do the chickens get to go somewhere else?"

"What do you mean?"

"When are they put back together?"

I get it, when do they move on to their next life, kind of like the way Savannah views moving from this life to Heaven.

"Uh, I don't know sweetie. Daddy knows a lot about chickens." (yes, I left out that many young chicks were the victims of Daddy's science endeavors.)

"Oh - pause - Were they scared?"

Clearly, she is on to the turning the chicken into a chicken strip.

"No, they really didn't know what was going on."

"Why?

"Chickens aren't smart like people. They don't think about everything like you do."

"Oh, Did it hurt?"



After successfully changing the subject, I could breath a sigh of relief. I hesitate to get into death or killing chickens with Savannah. She doesn't really understand what dead means. She just thinks that you get to move onto Heaven. Since Heaven is this wonderful place, she assumes she can take everything and everyone with her that she loves.

What to do with this girl? She is just too deep!

For those of you who were wondering, yes, Adeline ate the chicken and pumpkin bread for desert!

One More Reason Why I Love Costco

Their meatloaf. Yes, I said meatloaf. Sounds a bit strange coming out of my mouth, the one who still hasn't fully come around in the red meat department. But really, who cares what I think? I love it because my girls love it.

After work yesterday, I dropped by Costco's deli and picked up their prepared meatloaf and mashed potatoes for under $9.00. Can't beat the price. For the past two nights all THREE of my girls have happily consumed their meatloaf dinners. Even Adeline. She ate about a tablespoon last night and tonight she upped her intake to a whole slice. She even happily took the mashed potatoes. This is completely new territory for me. I have served my girls the same lunch and dinner for the pasts two days. No baby food, plain pasta or cheerios, just regular table food. It almost makes me giddy. The best part is that we are going to get a third round out of this meatloaf. Anything, to avoid cooking!

In addition to eating meat, Adeline is starting to stand more frequently and for longer periods of time. Her physical therapist was very pleased with her performance this morning and commented on how well her left leg did. We are both excited to see if she really takes off once she gets her orthotics. Last night she took one step a couple times going from me to daddy. She is so scared. Once she realizes she is doing it, she bends her legs and sits right down. She doesn't even give herself the chance to fall.

Finally, Miss Belle used sign language consistently tonight. Lila Grace uses the sign for "more" but Adeline has never picked it up. One of her therapists has worked on "I want" but I never really followed up with it. Tonight, I thought I would give it a try. Low and behold, Miss Belle knows how to use her sign! For each cheese puff she had after dinner, she signed "I want." Not bad for a day's work!!

I can't resist adding some of these pictures we took of the cranky one. Looks can be deceiving!!!

She Ate What for Dinner?????

For those of you who don't know about the girls and their likes and dislikes of food, here is synopsis. Lila Grace will eat just about anything when she wants to. She is primarily drinking out of a sippy cup but takes a bottle when she wakes up and goes down for the night - Mommy can't give it up, not her.

Adeline is a completely different story. She is drinking primarily from a bottle and is on Pediasure (high calorie baby milkshake). She finger feeds cheerios, veggies sticks (like chips), Ritz and PB&J. I can usually get her to take yogurt and baby food as well but it is quickly batted away and flung onto the walls after five bites. We have worked hard at the sippy cup but she chucks it across the kitchen. Lately, she will drink a smoothie from straw (maybe an ounce or two at the most).

Given Adeline's feeding issues and strong dislike of most anything I put on her tray, you can appreciate my astonishment when I saw her pick up a piece (teeny tiny) of short ribs and put it in her mouth. I expected her to gag, cough and get pretty angry but she didn't. SHE PUT ANOTHER PIECE IN HER MOUTH!!!!! I was shocked. The funniest part is that she smiled back at me like she has been secretly keeping her ability to eat meat from me for months. We will see if it is reproducible tomorrow.

While Adeline was experimenting with meat, Lila was showing me each piece of food before putting it on her head and then in her mouth. It made for a nice hairdo. She also insisted on using my fork until Adeline swiped it from her. Savannah was on the sidelines playing peekaboo with napkin. All in all, this was one of our most successful dinners. I was able to eat my meal while it was still hot which is VERY rare. We all ate the same thing and it was all made from scratch.

Finally, at the end of the meal Lila takes on the role of our family dog and eats the food off of the floor. This probably sounds disgusting to many but it keeps her quite, helps me get things up off the floor allows me the five minutes I need to get the dishes in the dishwasher.

Keep your fingers crossed that Adeline continues down the road of solid foods!

Sick Turns to Cranky

I don't know which is worse. The 103 fever and just wanting to lay on Mommy (both at the same time of course) or the cranky/plain mad that has since emerged. Somehow sick turned into angry. I am not talking about a bit more needy or fussy, this is full blown crying and mad. Where did my girls go? They used to play, laugh and be remotely independent. Now we are clawing at my legs and frustrated by every last toy we play with. They aren't sleeping well, eating much of anything and didn't even like their bath tonight. Yesterday, out of frustration/desperation, I lined them up in their high chairs hoping Daddy would entertain them while he aerated the lawn.

Lila's face pretty much sums it up.


On a different note entirely, Adeline was fitted for her orthodics today. Her left hip is externally rotated which places her foot in a sideways position. We are hoping the orthodic will help reposition the foot and strengthen the hip. The jury is still out as to why her hip isn't behaving. We have taken x-rays, seen specialist and continue to check her range of motion. Although it is reminiscent of Cerebral Palsy, we are not convinced. More than likely she will be clumsy and not a star athlete. I am hoping a normal gait is in her future. Like everything else, only time will tell.

Worth noting but unrelated, Savannah asked today,

"Will Elmo be in Heaven?"

"Yes," I reply.

"He is going to go to OUR Heaven Mommy?!!"

"Yes Sweetie Pie."

"I can't wait to go to Heaven!"

A beautiful smile overtakes my oldest girl and is followed by clapping. I am still struggling with the thought of her learning Elmo is a puppet. I am also a bit disturbed by the desire to go to Heaven because her fictitious friend will be there.

Heaven and Elmo. . . two things that continually find their way into Savannah's everyday list of of questions.

Still Sick

You know things aren't getting better when I have Lila Grace strapped in the swing. There was a time when both girls lived in these swings but that was many months ago.

Both girls woke up crying - something they never do - feverish and very lethargic. Without Grammy here to help it was all I could do to rock one while the other sat in her crib and watched with glazed over eyes. We did this for a good hour and a half before they let me leave the room without a protest. Finally, asleep.

Not for long, of course. Adeline woke up drenched in sweat and crying once again. She refused her bottle and seemed to not want to move her arms. She was crying so hard that her lips were purple and face dusky. Back on the cannula she went. After further examination, I discovered her hands were purple as well. I quickly dialed up Dr. Chidekel and notified his office that we were on our way.

After a long afternoon, and a car ride that perked both girls up, we were back home. Adeline's lungs sounded good, her fever was gone and she appeared to be on the road to recovery. It seems that fevers can do strange things to your skin which answers why her hands were purple. Dr. Chidekel also mentioned that he was going to have to remove the "100 breaths per minute footnote" from Adeline's file as she no longer presents as a one pound preemie. He concluded that from a respiratory standpoint, no one would know she had such rough beginning. Yeah!!! Now she need to get on with those developmental milestones once we get back on her feet. Her lungs and heart are no longer holding her back which makes Dr. Chidekel hopeful about the summer ahead. We are both crossing our fingers that she does some much needed catching up.


Remembering a time when both girls fit in the swing :)

April. . .

Is quickly becoming my least favorite month. Looking back to last year, it entailed four trips to the ER and three hospital admissions.

Fate would have it that April didn't get off to a great start yet again. Both babies woke up with 100+ fevers and were extremely cranky. Not good timing due to the fact that we were headed out the door to our 18 month developmental follow-up appointment. It would seem obvious that we would reschedule but it takes months to get in and Daddy had rearranged his travel plans to go.

Surprisingly, Lila Grace held up rather well. She enjoyed the testing as a new toy was placed in front of her every minute or so. She focused, listened and carried out the tasks requested of her with little trouble. Lila received a glowing report and was right on target. She appears to be a typical toddler - funny, frustrated and and full of life.

Adeline, on the other hand, was not at her best. After waiting for Lila Grace to complete her one and a half hours of testing, Adeline took her seat at the table. She was clearly not feeling well but seemed in good spirits. However, she didn't focus and was unable to carry our many of the tasks. Some requests involved skills she has yet to master and others were ignored. She had the glazed over look and wasn't very interested in the objects she was asked to manipulate. I didn't think she did horribly, but I knew it was far from her best. The result, not as much progress made as we had hoped for.

Adeline has always hovered over the fence of normalcy. She drifted to the low end of normal during our last appointment and unfortunately, landed on the high end of "not normal" this appointment. Over four months time she only made two months worth of progress. Now whether or not that has anything to do with illness or the fact that she was asked to point to the spoon (something she has never really had fond feelings for due to her oral adversion) instead of an Elmo or a car, is anyone's guess. I think she could have done more, shown a greater understanding of questions asked and been more participatory had she felt better and been driven by motivating objects. On the flip side, Lila Grace did fine with the same tasks under the same conditions.

It is hard to know how to feel when walking away from that office. Last time, we were left with, "She is doing great, BUT you should have her see a geneticist." This time we were told, "We can't rule out mental retardation and probably won't know for sure until she is four and a half." Four and a half!!!!!! Do they think I can wait that long? I have been waiting 19 long and agonizing months for someone to tell me what her future holds. I don't feel like I have the patience to wait for THREE more years.