Buying for Others

We adopted two children from a shelter this year, both of which have developmental delays. Of course, that hits close to our hearts.

The twins went shopping for a boy who loves lights, sounds, and toys that move. He is also autistic. The girls did a pretty good job finding toys with lights. It was mentioned that the boy liked cars so the girls helped point out exciting cars on the shelves. Funny how Adeline scaled the shelves in order to reach Lightening McQueen and toss it in to the cart, over and over again! I finally ripped it out of her hands at the check stand. I think it is safe to say that she doesn't understand buying for others. Especially those that she doesn't know. Lila on the other hand seemed to understand that we weren't shopping for her. She had Ernie clinched in her fingers during the whole trip but put him back when we went to check out. I think there is some understanding now that we are home because both girls have left the toys alone and not incessantly asked to remove them from their boxes.

Savannah has adopted a 5.5 year old girl named Tamara. We had a wonderful afternoon looking for toys that fit her. Tamara likes baby dolls. Savannah never asked to take home a toy and was willing to spend some of her own money on a writing journal for Tamara. "Mommy, a diary will help her learn to write her letters since she needs extra practice like Adeline." Yes, I explained that even though Tamara was Savannah's age, she wasn't as adept to doing fine motor crafts etc. as Savannah is. I likened it to the differences in Adeline and Lila and Savannah ran with it. She wanted to buy all sorts of "therapy toys." Because I don't know Tamara's developmental needs, we bought her a baby doll with lots of accessories. I was proud of Savannah when she exclaimed, "Now Tamara will have an exciting Christmas." Savannah came up with the idea of getting her stocking and stuffing it. I thought it was clever.

After explaining that these children live in shelters and what a shelter is I was bombarded with questions and comments. Here are a few from the oldest:

Tamara has probably had some pretty sad Holidays

Maybe I should invite her to my birthday so she can have fun at a party. Maybe she can get some of the gifts.

Why don't her parents have money? (I explained that they may not have jobs or, if they do, they may not be good ones)

Why don't you send a note to Tamara's Mommy and tell her to work at Pottery Barn with you. I know there are lots of jobs there.

We should buy these decorations for her yard. Oh, right, she probably doesn't have a yard.

Can we buy her gifts for her birthday?

Why doesn't she get Christmas gifts? Doesn't Santa bring her some?

After explaining that we were spending money that was initially set aside for our family's gifts, Savannah responded with, "That makes me a little disappointed but happy for Tamara."