We Were Still Waiting. . .

For the inevitable - the news that was going to crush my last few ounces of hope.  Adeline had held on past the one to two week time frame that was she was given.  She was still fighting.  We were still clinging on to that 5%  chance that Adeline would be born alive.

As Sunday, the girls' 4th birthday, approaches, I am always called to take time to reflect.  Four years ago, was the darkest time of my life.  Carrying a baby you know is dying is something I can never put into words.   I was angry, depressed, and begging for someone to give me a reason to hope.  I wanted to hold both of my girls.  It was that simple.  I wanted a nursery with two cribs.  Savannah deserved BOTH sisters.

The clock stood still, the days wouldn't pass, and my need for a positive sign wasn't being met.  Adeline wouldn't move inside me.  At each appointment, I held my breath and pushed back the tears while the technician searched for her heartbeat.  The tears of joy would always flow once it was found.  I remember one appointment where they were able to get a view of her face.  It was the first time in weeks that she had changed her position.  She was so real to me in that moment.  I felt as though I was holding her and that everything was going to be okay.

As I have said before, we begged and pleaded with God to give her a life to live.  For 29 long days He held my baby girl  in the palm of His hand!  

To this day, Adeline carries with her a will to fight.  She made it through the NICU, a 125 day journey.  She also continues to develop and progress much faster than developmental specialists typically predict.  Adeline fought to make it out of the womb and continues to fight to be all that she can be!  Her trade mark is perserverance.  Rightfully so!!