Another school year is well underway. We entered into this school with great concern for Miss Lila. Over the last year, we began to see what looked like learning differences. Her working memory (more or less like short term) doesn't hold information or let her manipulate it and then keep it available for output. The most simple concepts can seem foreign to her. For example, she couldn't remember her doll's name - the one she received for her birthday. I had to tell it to her EVERY time. Each time I did, my heart would sink. They say a mother "just knows."
There were also inconsistencies. Some days, Lila could count money like a champ and other days she couldn't put together 12 cents. She still can't figure out the days of the week or concept of time. The list goes on and on. Some of this is developmentally appropriate but most of it is not. It is just so frustrating. The frustration can tailspin me on the most calm and peaceful days. In 60 seconds I can go from blissfully happy to down in the trenches of fear and frustration. Such is the road with preemies.
Of course, this isn't the preemie that is supposed to struggle. Lila has always hit her milestones. She tests very well, even with the above issues. Everything falls into the average range. Why this? Why now? Shouldn't this be Adeline? For some reason, Adeline's deficits don't sink me. She just powers through and comes out on the positive side of things. Lila wasn't blessed with the same determination and spirit. Lila hasn't shown a drive to learn. These issues sink her too.
All of this came to a head in September. I have an acquaintance who has similar problems with her daughter. She shared her story which shed light on neurological testing. Since Lila tests well in all areas, we need to find tests that dig deeper, tell more. They come at the tune of $3800! Most say they are well worth it. They help your child get the help they need. We called and found an evaluator. At the same time, we took Lila for a visit at the Woodlynde School. It is a school that serves students with average to above average IQ's but, at the same time, have learning differences. Lila spent a half day there. She did well. It is intense. The focus is on learning, that's it. The kids are in groups of five with a teacher. They sit at a table and work very intensely. Lila said she was willing to go there. "It was hard work but I understood what the teacher was telling me." She gets it. She understands that she
doesn't understand.
There we were. A school that is an hour away, separates the twins but is rock solid in the academic department. We also had an evaluator lined up to test Lila so we could start creating an IEP for our public school. Her current school just doesn't have the support we thought she needed.
Then life got busy. We kept dragging our feet. Lila seemed to be more on target with each passing day.
We held our breath.
We still are.
At home, Miss Grace has taken off. We try to keep up on our public school math curriculum (in case we move the twins over to public school) because it is vastly different than traditional math. Lila does extremely well. She just gets it. Did I just say that?? Lila seems to be more in tune with the world around and just GETS IT! Something has changed. She dropped out of piano because it seemed to hard, too abstract. After two months of not playing the piano, she sat down and played four songs - off the scale- perfectly with no help. She couldn't even do that when she was taking piano. There are so many examples of her excelling. It leaves me baffled.
Before I got too excited about her success, I wanted to wait for her conference at school. The first thing the teacher told me brought tears to my eyes. "If you wouldn't have told me they were born so little I would have never known. If someone had told me I had two preemies in my class, I wouldn't have known it was Adeline and Lila." Finally, the words I have dreamed of. They did it. They closed the gap!!
Let's just pause and let that sink in.
Lila's teacher said she at or above grade level in all areas. She is in the top reading group and doing great. Her teacher doesn't see anything concerning. I was blown away. How could this be?
For now, I am just thankful. There are still little things I see that make me think the other shoe could drop at any minute. I know Lila isn't going to be top student in her class but if she can hang in the top 25% I will be thrilled. I just don't want learning to be hard. I want her to love learning. I think she is beginning to. Just yesterday she brought me her spelling words written out on a piece of paper (from memory) and at the bottom was "I tried." That she did. She is trying and thankfully, at the moment, the effort is paying off. Let's hope it's enough on down the road. We have always known it has to come from within Lila. She isn't the type of kid to work hard just because she should.
Something has lit her fire. These last two months have been the best two months of Lila's life. I am so proud of her. We are all happier. The frustration at home is minimal. The stress level is down and I sleep easy.
Keep it up my sweet girl! You are absolutely amazing!
