Holden Beach Here We Come!!

This past Sunday, we packed up the kids, gear and smiles and trekked on down to Holden Beach, North Carolina. We weren't sure if the girls would survive the 12+ hour drive so we added a stop at the Baltimore Zoo for a distraction. This zoo has a neat giraffe exhibit where you can hand feed them. Adeline is still in love with giraffes, possibly stemming from her extended stay in a giraffe isolette in the NICU, and we were very excited to give her a glimpse of a real giraffe close up. Unfortunately, the giraffes weren't into feeding but they were a hit nonetheless. Adeline who is typically scared to death in a zoo situation was trying to climb in the exhibit. I was delighted to see that she got as much enjoyment out of the her long-necked friends as I was hoping.

Here she is trying climb in

At the same time that we were happy to see Adeline exercising her brave side, Savannah decided to hop on a camel. This is pretty out of character for her which made her parents really proud. She had a great time perched between the humps.

Before we packed them up for the rest of the 12 hour ride, we had a lunch at the zoo. Lucky for the girls there was play equipment. I was thrilled to see the Belle scale the equipment. She is always a bit timid and suffers from overall weak muscles which typically prevents her from doing hard climbing. Well, climb she did and once up on top, she was able to do her favorite playground pass time. She swings out above any slide that has a bar above it. She was feeling particularly feisty today as she really caught some air.

Just for the record, we powered through and gave up our hotel reservation. We left the house at 9:00 am and arrived at the beach house at 11:00 pm. The girls were fantastic travelers which made both parents very thankful.

We have enjoyed the past three days in perfect weather and perfect company. Here is a shot of the girls saying, "Hurray, we are on vacation!"

The Mind of a 5 Year Old

As I was driving Savannah to piano lessons this morning, she asked, "Did the road builders have to dig out these roads to make them?" I tried to briefly indulge her in the history of roads and how they most likely started over time and only recently have become these elaborate paved passage ways. This took her mind back to what she calls the "old fashions."

S: Well was this road a dirt road when Laura (Ingalls) was a girl?

Me: Maybe

S: Why was Laura scared of Native Americans?

Me: She hadn't seen people that didn't speak her language or look like her before? The Native Americans were scared of her too?

S: Why?

Me: Laura and the Native Americans were different from each other. They did things in a different way, dressed differently and spoke differently. Sometimes different seems scary. But now, we know that EVERYBODY is different and different is good.

S: How could the Native Americans be scared of Laura?

Me: Maybe they thought she was going to hurt them or that her Pa was going to do something mean to them. They couldn't understand each other because they didn't speak the same language.

S: Would they be scared of me if I lived in the old fashions?

Me: Probably a little.

S: What if I made the Native Americans a card? Then would they have known how sweet I am?

Oh, if world peace could be tackled with a card.

Please don't fault me for my lack of indepth explinations. I was pretty bleary eyed after 6 hours of sleep.

Rain Rain Go Away

After a pretty rainy week and very rainy day, the girls were busting down the door in order to play outside. A brief cloud break fooled us into the thinking the storm was over. Boy were we wrong. The girls didn't seem to mind though. Well, Adeline wasn't so hot on the rain but did eventually run around barefoot on the wet surfaces. Savannah and Lila are just getting started in the video below. Soon, they were off to find the biggest puddle. There was no shortage of big puddles after this much rain.

Listen for the thunder at the end of the video (it is 2.5 minutes so hang in their until the end)

The Belle

Camp is really wearing Adeline out. It is taking a lot of work to get her through the three hour camp schedule. She is easily distracted, in a new environment, with new kids and expected to rise to age levels that are far beyond that of 2.5. Regardless, she is making progress. I have therapist lined up for almost every day so that she has one on one direction and support. This is what she will be up against in the fall so I feel inclined to slowly break her in throughout the summer.

It has been reported that Adeline is squirmy and very clingy by the end of the day. Clingy isn't new for her. She is always asking other people to hold her because I am dominated by Miss Grace. Each day I pick them up during their outdoor time. Each day she is sitting on the teacher's lap. It warms my heart that they hold her but at the same time I wish she was running with the other kids. Just another jolt of the "we aren't typical" reality. And squirmy, well it is pretty clear that Adeline suffers in the attention department.

According to her therapists, Adeline is trying very hard to follow directions. They are often lost once she is two or three steps in. Today, each kids was given different pictures of animals. They were to look around the room for the match that was strewn about. Adeline started looking around but visually scanning something is very hard. She will walk forward while looking to at the wall on the right. Today, she walked right up to where the fish was (on the floor) and forgot to look down. Her OT said, "Adeline, look on the floor" and immediately Adeline bent down and picked up the fish. We were both very pleased that she had held the direction of matching the fish in her head for that long. As I always say, it is all the other issues preventing her from succeeding. This time it was motor planning and visual scanning that caused her to need help, not cognitive deficits.

How does this all add up? I wish she was more independent and engaged like that of her sister. However, she is trying very hard to hang with the others and can do it with help. Eventually, that help will be weaned when things become routine. She will always be a creature of habit and need structured routine but there are worse things to be. One thing I know for sure, she is exhausted when she comes home. She shuts down, doesn't talk and takes long naps. When I woke her this morning at 8:10 she looked up at me and refused to stand up to be lifted out of her crib. I asked her if she wanted to get up and Adeline rolled over and said, "No, I sleeping." Now that sentence is progress.

Preemies at the Zoo. . .

don't always mix. At least that is what The Belle had to say. Sometimes I forget that we aren't your average family on our various outings. Today reminded me that we aren't typical. Although Adeline looks just as typical as can be on the outside, she often struggles when taken out of her familiar surroundings.

I have previously discussed her sensory issues and how they hold her back. I feel that most people don't understand this or how it impedes her development. I get frustrated because it sooooo obvious to me. For example, (you knew this was coming right) today at the Zoo was not much fun for Adeline. For most toddlers like Lila Grace, the Zoo is a place where you bounce from one animal exhibit to the next in complete excitement. Lila and Savannah were always three steps ahead, searching for that next animal and laughing at its behavior. For Adeline, well let's just say we had to hold her the entire time. She was stiff, buried into our shoulders and just trying to hold it together before the experience was over. I tried many times to put her down, entice her in the cute monkeys or distract by the tiger but nothing worked. She was climbing up my leg before I could even get both of her feet on the ground. The sounds, the smells and the quick movement of the animals were too much. She tried, she really did but it just wasn't in her sensory limits. The kicker was lunch. One of the larger birds was screeching its head off and oh boy, did Adeline turn heads. She cried big crocodile tears for a good 15 minutes. For those of you who are not a parent to a micro preemie you most likely would turn your head to the sound of Adeline's hoarse cry. It sounds like she is being strangled and is rather unique. Unique means everyone looking with confused or sympathetic eyes. Really, how could a toddler be that unhappy at a zoo, right?? It is after all the tiny Brandywine Zoo.

So how does this impact development? For most children, the zoo is a learning experience or at least an experience they can later draw upon. Not so for Adeline. She didn't look at half of the animals and didn't enjoy it enough to want to remember it. A zoo is a place where you learn about different diets, different habitats and other differences exhibited in a wide range of animals. I am sure Lila could tell you the otter was swimming in the water and the monkeys were playing in the trees. Although the otter was one exhibit Adeline attended to, she will most likely not remember it. Her stress level was all encompassing. When I read a book about the zoo Lila will connect the book to her real world experience. Adeline will not. This experience, albeit not crucial to development, is an example of how Adeline is unable to learn from some typical toddler experiences. There are too many of these experiences to note but when put together, they leave their mark - a gap in the typical road of development.

I should give Daddy credit. He had her smiling in the pavilion in no time at all!

Now that I have all of that off my chest, I must say we had a great time. Adeline clung to Daddy while Savannah and Lila were two peas in a pod. It is nice to watching them enjoy each other. The zoo is located on pretty fantastic grounds which left plenty to do besides animal gawking. We watched the mighty river flow after our last couple nights of hard rain, we played in the pavilion and threw pennies in the fountain. The weather was perfect and by the end of our time there all three girls were smiling.

I must note that Adeline and I were left down on a large rock on the river's edge while Alex hiked the other two girls up to the bathroom. It all the sudden dawned on me that I had sat on those rocks before hugging a two year old. That two year old was Savannah. We were into week three of our very long NICU stay with the twins. At that moment, I was still clinging to Savannah for strength and love. The twins were still very much engaged in their fight for life. I remember having my picture taken with Savannah with my tired and plastered on smile. Today, although no picture was taken, my smile was authentic. I was sitting on rock listening to Adeline giggle after throwing each leaf in the running river. Sensory issues or not, we are still so darn lucky.

Signs of Summer

1. We had to wake the girls for therapy this morning at 8:15

2. I saw lightening bugs on my run a few nights back

3. Lila is barefoot and fancy free every time she exits the house for more than 10 minutes

4. Tan lines are appearing

5. Baths are a nightly ritual instead of every other night and sometimes had with friends (notice the filthy water from playing outside).

6. I put my kids to bed at 9:30 pm tonight

7. The girls run with the neighborhood kids in the cul-de-sac after EVERY dinner - cabin fever has been cured!

8. Fingers and toes are painted

9. Swinging, swinging and more swinging

10. Everyone is happier and in better moods

Growing Up

Someone is growing up. She is thriving in her new camp/preschool, wanting to do everything that Savannah does and starts everything with "I do." I am pretty proud of my Lila Grace. She is meeting her milestones, and more importantly, growing into a very capable and sweet girl. She will most likely remain my "tough nut," but for now I celebrate her fantastic progress. Just today I spoke with the psychologist who has been evaluating and observing her for the transition to the 3-5 program. She was thrilled with Lila's attention, focus and overall "getting it." She may run circles around me at home but in school and more formal settings, she is right on the money.

Keep it up "Miss I Do It."

Here she is in braids for the first time. I didn't do such a great job and one side is puffed up which makes her head look funky. All preemie moms are very self conscious of the child's head.

Here is her older sister in braids for the first time (just a few months older and same shirt). Lila clearly needs to grow some more hair.

A Girl and Her Balloon

The first balloon

Lila Grace has recently adopted a fascination of balloons. Her particular, borderline obsessive behavior is perfectly demonstrated by her love of balloons. One day, I took just Lila to the store. What a treat that was. She asked for a balloon and I gladly obliged. I didn't know at the time that she was going to hold that balloon for EIGHT hours. She quietly sat in the cart holding the string with both hands as if it were a bouquet of flowers. When arriving home, she continued to hold tight to her balloon and even ate with it in one hand. It was a bit tricky when putting her down for a nap. She flipped her lid when I took the balloon away. Not her typical orneriness but hysterical - something is very wrong in my world - cry. It has became obvious that she was terrified that her balloon was going to float away. I ended up letting her sleep with the balloon and checked on her a few times to ensure it wouldn't become tangled around her body. When she woke up, she was in the same position and still holding that darn balloon.

That night we decided to go to Costco and, of course, the balloon came too. Unfortunately, Daddy didn't anchor it and it slipped through Lila's fingers just as I looked up. We all watched it float away and suffered through Lila's heartbroken screams. Thankfully, Costco was pushing the Children's Miracle Network with balloons and only by the grace of God did Lila take to one of those. Of course that started the cycle all over, potty, sleeping etc. In fact, that night Lila started crying at 11:30 pm and we believe she had laid there awake the entire evening. She was so tired but too scared to take her eyes off of her balloon. She settled for Daddy tying it to her crib.

Frustrations grew when the balloon sagged the next morning. Luckily, our trip to Chuck E. Cheese brought a Chuckie balloon into Miss Lila's grasp. It has been over a week now and Chuckie still sits tethered to a a corner in my kitchen. Lila panics if anyone moves it. Somehow the balloon is "safe" if in that corner which relieves her of the holding duty.

Same position she started in


The Costco replacement finally tied to the crib for the very tired girl

The sagging balloon the next morning

All I can say is this behavior is not unlike Miss Grace. It is this behavior that also makes her undeniable cute but a pain in the you know what to raise at times. God give me patience. I don't know what I will do when Chuckie starts to deflate.

A Night in Philly

Although the girls are rooted in Philly, they very much associate themselves with the burbs. The twins never experienced the city outside my belly and Savannah was 2.5 when we moved. Since Alex was at a conference in the city, I decided to take the girls into the city for night. It was strange to be back in the same city I taught for for five years and traveling down the same road I used to take to work every morning.

First, we headed to the Please Touch Museum. It was open late Wednesday night so we were able to enjoy all it had to offer until 7:00 pm. The girls really liked it and were lucky to be joined by neighbors and friends. Daddy met us there which was a good thing because it was one big free for all playground. Below you can see the girls having fun.

After the museum closed, we were off to dinner with our neighbors. We trekked into the city which made me wary. My girls are never good in restaurants and it was already passed their bedtime. Of course they surprised me with fantastic behavior which allowed me to eat my first adult restaurant meal in quite some time. Kids always seem to remind you to not underestimate them.

We headed to the hotel around 9:30 and were bouncing on the beds by 10:00. The girls loved the windows overlooking city hall and got a kick out of the cars beeping below. We colored, played with balls and watched TV until everyone looked as though they were ready to crash. Lights were finally out by 11:00 pm. All but daddy's of course. It still surprises me that the girls will just lay down and sleep while Alex works and I watch TV. Of course the next day we paid for the late night.




All tired out and assuming her position at the hotel. (as if she knows how to work a remote)

Who is the Therapy Really For

After an hour and a half of OT today, I was ready for a nap. I don't know about Adeline, but it wore me out. Don't get me wrong, our OT is fabulous. But what it takes to get the Belle, to feel right in this world, goes against my every sensory need.

Today was pudding. Working on combing the powder and milk with her hands was a challenge. Eventually, she warmed up and was thrilled to have Miss Dot hide objects that Adeline had to dig for. Needless to say a bath was necessary, really for both of us. I was sweating bullets watching the whole thing.

In the end I try to remind myself that this therapy has gotten Adeline to the top, if not over, the art hump. If given the time and attention she needs to warm up to an art activity, Adeline will happily participate. OT has also helped Adeline become comfortable in grass and mulch. She still won't do it barefoot but walking across our yard is something she will do with shoes on. Adeline is getting better with loud noises and lawn mowers. Just yesterday I brought the blender in from out of the garage. I might get away with blending in my own house! Clearly Adeline is making progress. I don't see much progress on my front though. The mess still stresses me out.

Interior Design, I Think NOT! Architect, I Think YES!

Savannah is getting older. With that comes an independent mind. What I think doesn't necessarily get adopted as quickly as it once did. Many of you know that I am pretty big neat freak. I try very hard to "let it go" but am still pretty neat. Savannah thinks she is neat. She loves order. She folds her clothes and reorganizes her drawers, lines everything up in her art desk and will even try to clean up my bathroom from time to time (it is the one room where I truly "let it go.")

Lately, Savannah has been decorating her room. She used to do this before her weekly playdates but now, it seems like an everyday occurrence. My girl can get lost up in her room for hours and when I open her door, I have to plaster on the smile as I am always greeted with, "Look how I decorated my room Mommy!" It takes everything in me to not maker her put it all away. Instead, I try and let her express her individuality and hope she doesn't become the old lady that owns 20 cats and can't find the front door through her horded piles of junk. My relief comes twice a month when I take a bucket and remove it all for the cleaners. Savannah and I both end up rather giddy. I am happy that it is gone, she is excited at the prospect of redecorating it all over again.

Note that the tape is tipped on its side for added appeal.

I personally think she should put her energy into building. One day she took cardboard lid, computer paper, scissors and glue stick up on the island for a couple of hours. Come to find out she made a reinforced bed (headboard and all), table and surfboard for the girls' Sesame Street characters. She told me, "Now we can start working on pretend play with the girls mommy." That's my Savannah.

Although the craftsmanship doesn't translate, I thought I would include some pictures.