Wednesday, April 16, 2008

What about the chickens?

As the four of us were enjoying chicken strips for dinner, my oldest asks,

"When do the chickens get to go somewhere else?"

"What do you mean?"

"When are they put back together?"

I get it, when do they move on to their next life, kind of like the way Savannah views moving from this life to Heaven.

"Uh, I don't know sweetie. Daddy knows a lot about chickens." (yes, I left out that many young chicks were the victims of Daddy's science endeavors.)

"Oh - pause - Were they scared?"

Clearly, she is on to the turning the chicken into a chicken strip.

"No, they really didn't know what was going on."

"Why?

"Chickens aren't smart like people. They don't think about everything like you do."

"Oh, Did it hurt?"



After successfully changing the subject, I could breath a sigh of relief. I hesitate to get into death or killing chickens with Savannah. She doesn't really understand what dead means. She just thinks that you get to move onto Heaven. Since Heaven is this wonderful place, she assumes she can take everything and everyone with her that she loves.

What to do with this girl? She is just too deep!

For those of you who were wondering, yes, Adeline ate the chicken and pumpkin bread for desert!

Monday, April 14, 2008

One More Reason Why I Love Costco

Their meatloaf. Yes, I said meatloaf. Sounds a bit strange coming out of my mouth, the one who still hasn't fully come around in the red meat department. But really, who cares what I think? I love it because my girls love it.

After work yesterday, I dropped by Costco's deli and picked up their prepared meatloaf and mashed potatoes for under $9.00. Can't beat the price. For the past two nights all THREE of my girls have happily consumed their meatloaf dinners. Even Adeline. She ate about a tablespoon last night and tonight she upped her intake to a whole slice. She even happily took the mashed potatoes. This is completely new territory for me. I have served my girls the same lunch and dinner for the pasts two days. No baby food, plain pasta or cheerios, just regular table food. It almost makes me giddy. The best part is that we are going to get a third round out of this meatloaf. Anything, to avoid cooking!

In addition to eating meat, Adeline is starting to stand more frequently and for longer periods of time. Her physical therapist was very pleased with her performance this morning and commented on how well her left leg did. We are both excited to see if she really takes off once she gets her orthotics. Last night she took one step a couple times going from me to daddy. She is so scared. Once she realizes she is doing it, she bends her legs and sits right down. She doesn't even give herself the chance to fall.

Finally, Miss Belle used sign language consistently tonight. Lila Grace uses the sign for "more" but Adeline has never picked it up. One of her therapists has worked on "I want" but I never really followed up with it. Tonight, I thought I would give it a try. Low and behold, Miss Belle knows how to use her sign! For each cheese puff she had after dinner, she signed "I want." Not bad for a day's work!!

I can't resist adding some of these pictures we took of the cranky one. Looks can be deceiving!!!


Thursday, April 10, 2008

She Ate What for Dinner?????

For those of you who don't know about the girls and their likes and dislikes of food, here is synopsis. Lila Grace will eat just about anything when she wants to. She is primarily drinking out of a sippy cup but takes a bottle when she wakes up and goes down for the night - Mommy can't give it up, not her.

Adeline is a completely different story. She is drinking primarily from a bottle and is on Pediasure (high calorie baby milkshake). She finger feeds cheerios, veggies sticks (like chips), Ritz and PB&J. I can usually get her to take yogurt and baby food as well but it is quickly batted away and flung onto the walls after five bites. We have worked hard at the sippy cup but she chucks it across the kitchen. Lately, she will drink a smoothie from straw (maybe an ounce or two at the most).

Given Adeline's feeding issues and strong dislike of most anything I put on her tray, you can appreciate my astonishment when I saw her pick up a piece (teeny tiny) of short ribs and put it in her mouth. I expected her to gag, cough and get pretty angry but she didn't. SHE PUT ANOTHER PIECE IN HER MOUTH!!!!! I was shocked. The funniest part is that she smiled back at me like she has been secretly keeping her ability to eat meat from me for months. We will see if it is reproducible tomorrow.

While Adeline was experimenting with meat, Lila was showing me each piece of food before putting it on her head and then in her mouth. It made for a nice hairdo. She also insisted on using my fork until Adeline swiped it from her. Savannah was on the sidelines playing peekaboo with napkin. All in all, this was one of our most successful dinners. I was able to eat my meal while it was still hot which is VERY rare. We all ate the same thing and it was all made from scratch.

Finally, at the end of the meal Lila takes on the role of our family dog and eats the food off of the floor. This probably sounds disgusting to many but it keeps her quite, helps me get things up off the floor allows me the five minutes I need to get the dishes in the dishwasher.

Keep your fingers crossed that Adeline continues down the road of solid foods!


Monday, April 7, 2008

Sick Turns to Cranky

I don't know which is worse. The 103 fever and just wanting to lay on Mommy (both at the same time of course) or the cranky/plain mad that has since emerged. Somehow sick turned into angry. I am not talking about a bit more needy or fussy, this is full blown crying and mad. Where did my girls go? They used to play, laugh and be remotely independent. Now we are clawing at my legs and frustrated by every last toy we play with. They aren't sleeping well, eating much of anything and didn't even like their bath tonight. Yesterday, out of frustration/desperation, I lined them up in their high chairs hoping Daddy would entertain them while he aerated the lawn.

Lila's face pretty much sums it up.


On a different note entirely, Adeline was fitted for her orthodics today. Her left hip is externally rotated which places her foot in a sideways position. We are hoping the orthodic will help reposition the foot and strengthen the hip. The jury is still out as to why her hip isn't behaving. We have taken x-rays, seen specialist and continue to check her range of motion. Although it is reminiscent of Cerebral Palsy, we are not convinced. More than likely she will be clumsy and not a star athlete. I am hoping a normal gait is in her future. Like everything else, only time will tell.

Worth noting but unrelated, Savannah asked today,

"Will Elmo be in Heaven?"

"Yes," I reply.

"He is going to go to OUR Heaven Mommy?!!"

"Yes Sweetie Pie."

"I can't wait to go to Heaven!"

A beautiful smile overtakes my oldest girl and is followed by clapping. I am still struggling with the thought of her learning Elmo is a puppet. I am also a bit disturbed by the desire to go to Heaven because her fictitious friend will be there.

Heaven and Elmo. . . two things that continually find their way into Savannah's everyday list of of questions.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Still Sick

You know things aren't getting better when I have Lila Grace strapped in the swing. There was a time when both girls lived in these swings but that was many months ago.

Both girls woke up crying - something they never do - feverish and very lethargic. Without Grammy here to help it was all I could do to rock one while the other sat in her crib and watched with glazed over eyes. We did this for a good hour and a half before they let me leave the room without a protest. Finally, asleep.

Not for long, of course. Adeline woke up drenched in sweat and crying once again. She refused her bottle and seemed to not want to move her arms. She was crying so hard that her lips were purple and face dusky. Back on the cannula she went. After further examination, I discovered her hands were purple as well. I quickly dialed up Dr. Chidekel and notified his office that we were on our way.

After a long afternoon, and a car ride that perked both girls up, we were back home. Adeline's lungs sounded good, her fever was gone and she appeared to be on the road to recovery. It seems that fevers can do strange things to your skin which answers why her hands were purple. Dr. Chidekel also mentioned that he was going to have to remove the "100 breaths per minute footnote" from Adeline's file as she no longer presents as a one pound preemie. He concluded that from a respiratory standpoint, no one would know she had such rough beginning. Yeah!!! Now she need to get on with those developmental milestones once we get back on her feet. Her lungs and heart are no longer holding her back which makes Dr. Chidekel hopeful about the summer ahead. We are both crossing our fingers that she does some much needed catching up.


Remembering a time when both girls fit in the swing :)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

April. . .

Is quickly becoming my least favorite month. Looking back to last year, it entailed four trips to the ER and three hospital admissions.

Fate would have it that April didn't get off to a great start yet again. Both babies woke up with 100+ fevers and were extremely cranky. Not good timing due to the fact that we were headed out the door to our 18 month developmental follow-up appointment. It would seem obvious that we would reschedule but it takes months to get in and Daddy had rearranged his travel plans to go.

Surprisingly, Lila Grace held up rather well. She enjoyed the testing as a new toy was placed in front of her every minute or so. She focused, listened and carried out the tasks requested of her with little trouble. Lila received a glowing report and was right on target. She appears to be a typical toddler - funny, frustrated and and full of life.

Adeline, on the other hand, was not at her best. After waiting for Lila Grace to complete her one and a half hours of testing, Adeline took her seat at the table. She was clearly not feeling well but seemed in good spirits. However, she didn't focus and was unable to carry our many of the tasks. Some requests involved skills she has yet to master and others were ignored. She had the glazed over look and wasn't very interested in the objects she was asked to manipulate. I didn't think she did horribly, but I knew it was far from her best. The result, not as much progress made as we had hoped for.

Adeline has always hovered over the fence of normalcy. She drifted to the low end of normal during our last appointment and unfortunately, landed on the high end of "not normal" this appointment. Over four months time she only made two months worth of progress. Now whether or not that has anything to do with illness or the fact that she was asked to point to the spoon (something she has never really had fond feelings for due to her oral adversion) instead of an Elmo or a car, is anyone's guess. I think she could have done more, shown a greater understanding of questions asked and been more participatory had she felt better and been driven by motivating objects. On the flip side, Lila Grace did fine with the same tasks under the same conditions.

It is hard to know how to feel when walking away from that office. Last time, we were left with, "She is doing great, BUT you should have her see a geneticist." This time we were told, "We can't rule out mental retardation and probably won't know for sure until she is four and a half." Four and a half!!!!!! Do they think I can wait that long? I have been waiting 19 long and agonizing months for someone to tell me what her future holds. I don't feel like I have the patience to wait for THREE more years.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

She Still Believes

The long love affair with Elmo continues. Yes, that is my oldest daughter who still wants an Elmo birthday cake, Elmo shirts (no character wear in this house unless it is on PJ's or undies) and Elmo toys. This relationship has evolved over the years. It began with red monster fascination and is now at the "I miss Elmo, Mommy. Does he miss me too?" stage.

See, Savannah believes in Santa, although his time is limited, the Easter Bunny and Elmo. Every other character or creature that she sees seems to be met with an understanding of make believe. Curious George is her favorite show but she asked long ago if there was a real George in the world with an "I know there isn't" undertone. She gets that animals don't talk, Charlie Brown is pretend and Princesses are just stories. What she has yet to admit to herself is that Elmo isn't real.

She desperately wants the big furry guy to come knocking on our door someday. She thinks he lives near by being that we live near Sesame Place - a Sesame Street Amusement park.

Years ago, I took her to see Elmo Live and she really enjoyed it. Fate would have it that Elmo visited our area again. She was so excited when she saw and advertisement for the show at McDonald's. She instantly started putting together a care package to take to him upon returning home. I had to cleverly convince her to mail it later as I knew we would not get the one on one time with Elmo that she was wishing for. Not only did she spend hours drawing pictures, making cards and decorating his box, she had to go shopping for his gift as well. Finally, the package was ready to go. I put it in the van when running errands with my mom, and told Savannah that I was taking it to the Post Office. My heart broke as I squished it into a trash can. All of her hard work and love, sitting in a McDonald's trash can.

I ended up taking Savannah to Elmo live and we really enjoyed ourselves. It was a small arena and we were able to see it all. She naively sat and waived to him each time he looked our way and asked why he didn't wave back a few times. As I sat there I saw parents and their toddlers (not 4 year olds) and I thought to myself, "Do I tell her?" How long do I let her believe? She is already requesting another Elmo cake for her 5th birthday. Are the kids going to make fun of her?

She is so sweet, sensitive and amazingly innocent for her age. I worked hard trying to instill these traits when she was young, I just hope they don't become her biggest enemy on down the road. This is a tough world to grow up in and Savannah takes everything to heart. Especially, Elmo.



The first Elmo birthday cake three years ago!