Miss Lila has really grown into the sweetest girl. Yes, we have fought our battles but it seems like as the dust settles, she is getting sweeter with each day. Thanks to an amazing big sister, a very patient daddy and lots of one on one mommy time, Miss Lila appears to be building on a foundation of sweetness.
An example of this sweetness was when Daddy picked us up on his way home from Adeline's surgery. Lila hopped in the car, anxious to see how her sister was doing. Adeline was groggy and pukey. Lila gave her a sweet, "Hi Adeline. You okay?" Adeline perked up and they began to talk a bit and watch a movie. Ten minutes later, Adeline started to puke in the puke bucket. Neither girl likes watching the other puke. With her Ernie pushed firmly across her eyes, Lila reached out with the other arm toward Adeline and said, "It's okay Adeline. I love you."
A daily example of her sweet and loving follows. Randomly, while doing an activity like strapping her in her car seat, filling my bowl with cereal, vacuuming out the garage and who knows what else, I hear a sweet, "I love you Mommy." Sometimes I have a chance to respond and sometimes she is off to her next thing. My sweet Lila takes time out to say and unsolicited, "I love you Mommy," at least five times a day. Today, we were pushing ten.
Adeline had the pleasure of spending Valentine's Day in the cardiology clinic at DuPont hospital. I tried to prepare her for the day by saying that they were going to put stickers on her belly for her EKG. She thought it was ridiculous to have a doctor put stickers on her belly and completely blew me off. I knew it was going to be a traumatic experience and tried to tell her about her impending tests. Instead of really listening, she told me she didn't want to go to the doctor. That's when I knew it was going to be REALLY bad.
I picked Adeline up from school and we headed to the hospital. The super cool waiting room was empty so we had some time to play and get comfortable in our surroundings. When called back, Adeline put on her big brave face, stood on the scale and let them take her height; all things that make her very nervous. We proceeded to a room and much to Adeline's horror, a blood pressure machine was wheeling in behind us. That started the screams of, "No squeezy squeezy!" She hates having her blood pressure taken. The nurse was great and told Adeline that she could push the button on the machine which, combined with my iphone, made her calm enough to get a reading. After it was over, Adeline was ready to go. Too bad we were just getting started.
The nurse arranged to have the EKG and Echo in the same room so we could just get it all knocked out in one round of hysteria instead of two separate ones. There are kids who cry and don't like the doctor and then there are kids who have true sensory integration issues with medical procedures. There is a difference. There is no calming or being rational with these kids. You just have to pony up and get through it and that is what we did.
The Echo nurse didn't believe me when I told her Adeline was going to be tough. She let Adeline pick out a movie which seemed like it might work until she had her lay down on the bed. Adeline blew her top. She was flailing, growling and gasping for air. There would be no Echo under these conditions. Since this isn't new to me, I knew I had to lay flat on the bed and let her lay on top of me. Once somewhat calm, I knew I had to threaten to get up and make her lay on the bed by herself if she screamed and cried. To Adeline's credit, she sucked it up the best she could. She didn't like the gel or the wand moving over her chest. She was afraid that it was going to be noisy and hurt. The Belle finally settled in and we got the pictures of the heart that were ordered in between screams of protest.
Here is a picture of my red faced, deflated girl after round one.
Round two was much harder. I knew she would hate the stickers for the EKG. Even worse were the cords that connected to the stickers. I told her they were little pulse ox cords since she has a comfort level with them. Regardless, she was terrified when they opened up the connectors and clipped them on to the stickers. She screamed, "Not noisy, not noisy!" with her hands over her ears. Machines are not her friend. I restrained her while the nurse administered the test. Taking the stickers off was almost worse. It was all enough to make me need a stiff drink and a 12 hour nap!
Somehow, when we walked out of that room to the room where we would meet with the doctor, Adeline knew she was DONE. She insisted on taking off her gown and putting her undershirt on; an effort to regain some control of her situation. She was a chatter box, showing everyone we passed her load of Thomas stickers.
While we waited, Adeline danced around the room for at least 20 minutes. She was thrilled to be done. Here is a clip of her spin dance and a little bit of our conversation about her appointment. Funny how once the appointment is over, it really isn't so bad. She did acknowledge that her behavior was rather beastly. Turn it up if you want to hear her quiet voice.
When the doctor finally arrived, she kept interrupting me and asking if I would stop talking and let her talk. The doc gave into her sweet self and let her teach him how to play Angry Birds on my phone. He thought she was very charming and, needless to say, a medical success! All reports were normal.
FYI. . . this is what they write in your chart if you scream and cry like a beast! I'm surprised it wasn't worse. I guess they know some parents sneak the chart off the door. . .
To top all of this off, we went in for tubes and a bronchoscopy at 6:30 a.m. this morning. Daddy took her as I had to stay back and get Savannah to school. Surprisingly, the Belle rocked it. Miss Adeline even made it back to the OR without the heavily promoted "silly juice." I'm just not a fan. It is completely unnecessary. Adeline let the anesthesiologist carry her back to the OR for what we told her would be a nebulizer treatment. We didn't tell her she was having a procedure. She was nervous but prepared for her mask. She reported that the mask was different from that of a neb. It only went on her nose, she had to sit on the bed when they put it on and it was bubblegum flavor (still puzzled about flavored air). Adeline said she cried but that the doctors were nice. The doctors said she just fussed. I guess we will never know.
To Adeline's knowledge, her mask made her fall asleep and when she woke up Daddy, was there to hold her. Soon she was on her way home with drained ears (the doc said she had to have been uncomfortable and that her hearing was compromised) and two fully functional vocal folds!!! We have been under the assumption that one was partially paralyzed due to her PDA ligation at 4 weeks old. The incision site is on the back and often the preemies that undergo the surgery are raspy like Adeline. Apparently there is a vocal fold nerve that is easily nicked. While Adeline's voice will always be hoarse, her vocal folds have room for improvement. I am pretty excited about this!
My friend drove Lila home from preschool the other day. She has a nine month old baby. When snuggling with Lila in bed that same night, Lila was thrilled to report that she got to sit by the baby. This was the first time she got excited over a baby. I asked her if she thought I should have a baby. Miss Lila paused and then answered, "Yes!" I asked what we should name it to see if she was thinking about a boy or a girl baby. With her hands up in the air in a I don't know fashion she answered, "Maybe Nathan." A big smile spread across her face because she thought that she had thought of something absolutely wonderful.
Today, my friend called me and asked me if I remembered Savannah's imaginary baby in utero - Nlivia. It really took me back. I had completely forgotten about my little three year old who thought she was pregnant. I guess it was the natural path since I had just given birth to the twins. To give you an idea of how young Savannah was, here is a link to her random thoughta that include a quote about Nlivia.
I hung up the phone with my friend and went to get pick Savannah up from school. Once in the car, I asked her if she remembered Nlivia. She gave a little cough/laugh. Her reaction fell somewhere between, "Oh my goodness, I used to think I was pregnant! and Oh, I was so cute." Next, Savannah asked me if I remembered how she used to tell me that Nlivia was as tiny as her belly button which, I did not. I told her I thought she was cute with her Nlivia and plainly asked, "Where did Nlivai go?" Savannah's thought for a moment and came up with this response. "Nowhere, I never had a baby in my belly. I never prayed to God."
In this house, we pray to God for babies. "God puts a baby in your belly if you pray for it and He thinks you are ready to be a mommy," is my canned answer for "How do you get a baby in your belly?"
This year, the girls and I decided to do a repeat of our crayon heart valentines. You can revisit this post to see how we put it all together. It is pretty easy and something every member of family takes part in. The girls really loved lining up the stools so that they could watch the crayons melt in the oven. FYI. . . don't forget about them in the oven and leave them in, uh well 30 minutes give or take, while you disappear into the office with the doors closed. When you walk out will you will find a house full of toxic (at least my headache thought they were) fumes. You will then find you and your family leaving the house for a many hours while it airs out in 20 degree weather, windows standing open.
This year, Savannah wanted to design her own template. I showed her what I had available, and while she used a very similar layout, she put her own spin on things. It gave me a chance to let her learn a bit about Photoshop.
Adeline was pining for her white mailbox since before Christmas. She remembered that it was full of chocolate and was brought out on Valentine's Day. Finally the day had come. Each girl had a party at school to kick off the festivities. After school, Alex took Savannah to ballet and left me to set the mailboxes up while Lila slept upstairs. She woke before Savannah was back and came downstairs with her nose almost touching the floor telling me, "I'm not looking mommy." I find it strange that my girls don't want to spoil their surprises. Don't most kids jump right in given the opportunity?
I laid a blanket over the table so that Lila could wander the house in an upright position. Once everyone was back home and seated, I lifted the blanket and the girls dug into their mailboxes. In addition to chocolate, Adeline was thrilled to find Whiff -the only four eyed Thomas train, Lila loved her ducks and Savannah went right into reading The Sandwich Swap - a must read for all first/second grade girls!
After a heart pancake dinner and too many pieces of candy, the girls gave me their gifts. Lila can stop telling me that she has, "a surprise for you. It is a stuffed animal surprise. But it isn't a bear Mommy." Thankfully, Alex took them to the Dollar Store so they could buy to their heart's content for their Mommy while not breaking the bank.
Savannah had a little surprise up her sleeve. When doesn't she? She set up some valentines for me and Alex and added an original song and treat. I thought she was pretty clever. She found a heart candle holder and set a hand lens beside it. We, of course, were supposed to look inside the empty candle holder and discover what was inside! Yep, you can't see love but when it comes to Savannah, it is always in the mix and LOVE was the answer she was looking for. She also added a cute little bucket filled with M&Ms. She did it all on her own and, as usual, I am impressed.
While trying to roll clay into a ball, Adeline stopped to announced. . .
I can't do that until I'm 55.
Savannah: You mean 5 right?
Adeline: No 55!
She managed to roll one ball (with help) and turn it into a Baby Einstein caterpillar head. The body will be rolled in about 50 more years.
Five minutes later while Savannah is continuing to impress us with her ability to make a rainbow out of the primary colors of clay, I hear, "Oh, Nannah, that is a wonderful color. Good job." (she sounded so grown up and motherly).
Here are Savannah's creations. A palette with paint brushes dipped and ready to go and a rainbow.
While playing with Lila. . .
A: Lila you be the teacher and I'll be the children.
L: Okay
A: Lila, you got to teach me something. Lila, teach me!
Savannah placed this on Alex's monitor yesterday after studying a table/check list he was working on. Here is her check list/table. Can I freeze her in time because this kind of thing is priceless? ("tun" is supposed to be "ton")
Last Thursday, the twins had their first date! They went to Chick-fil-A with Daddy. The fast food chain was set up for a father-daughter date night, complete with hostess, waitress and cow dressed like a princess. The girls were very excited to hear that it was a double date. . . with Charlotte of course.
Although I was not there, it sounded like a big success. The service was good and apparently the chicken nuggets and ice cream were a success too. There was a photo booth where the girls' pictures were taken with their daddy (see above). To top it off, they were given a special flower before leaving. I know this because when they arrived home, they came yelling up the stairs, "We have a surprise for you Mommy!" Behind their backs hiding was a pretty, red carnation. The girls thought they were doing something very special for me and were beaming with pride. They are so sweet.
What a night and all for the price of $12.00. Thank you Daddy and Chick-fil-a.
While the little girls were on their date with Daddy, I thought I would take Savannah somewhere special. I figured a fast food restaurant pretending to be a fancy eatery was more fun the four year olds. Savannah chose to go to The Painted Plate. She is so careful and does a great job. I can't wait to see how the plate turns out. I love spending one on one time with her. She is such a joy!
Lila and Adeline LOVE to talk about when they were TINY babies. They like to talk about how the doctors had to take care of them and how they pooped in their diapers. Just recently, I was showering with Lila when she mentioned, "Babies drink out of those." Yes, you can imagine what she was referring too. "Not tiny babies because they are too sick," my once tiny baby, now four year old tells me. Lila then goes on to tell me, "One is for apple juice and one is for milk."
All of the sudden, both little girls are starting to pay attention to lines, colors and completion. For so long, the crayon has slipped out of Adeline's immature and weak grasp. Now that she has a stronger grasp, she can give her attention to the actual picture. Lila, for months, has colored (I think scribbled although she fights me on it) every picture in rainbow fashion. She solidly covers the picture with a variety of colors paying no attention to lines or appropriate colors. Why does she do this? Well, Miss Adeline loves rainbows and Lila colors every picture in rainbow fashion and then gives them to her. This was sweet the first five times, after seeing 30 plus scribbled pictures, I am tired of rainbow coloring. Needless to say, after sitting down and coloring Valentine pictures together during one of our many snow days, I was overjoyed.
Coloring in the lines 75% of the time (for Lila at least) - check
Using appropriate colors or colors that we chose instead of just grab without looking - check
Coloring the entire picture (mainly a milestone for Adeline) - check
Double click for a close up.
All three girls colored the same picture. No longer such a difference!
Lila is still struggling with her expressive language. Oddly enough, Adeline out performs her in this area according to my informal assessments. While this continues to weigh on my brain, I am reassured by the emphasis on receptive language in children this age. It is always better for expressive language to lag behind receptive language instead of the other way around. Knowing that Miss Grace understands and has the cognition of an average 4 year old is reassuring. However, the expressive language delay continues to drag her down. Lila talks in circles because she can't quite get to the point. Being her mother helps when it comes to these conversation because I usually catch on faster than most and can guide her speech while helping her express her thoughts. It is hard to watch her struggle when it is so obvious the words are in her head but can't make it to the tip of her tongue.
Here is a classic example.
Lila took her preschool's Friendship Bear home for the weekend. The children are supposed to let the bear travel with them, take a few pictures, and then come back and share the events with their classmates. Lila decided to take Friendship Bear sledding. She zipped him in her jacket and down the hill they went. We took pictures and come Monday, Lila was ready to share with her peers. I took a moment to ask her about what she was going to share. Lila had this to say. . .
L: I'm going to tell them that I took Friendship Bear in the. . . in the. . . in the snowy day. (she was trying to say sledding.)
Me: What did you do in the snowy day?
L: He was in my jacket in the snowy day because he not get snow on him.
Me: Do you mean that you took Friendship Bear sledding?
L: Yes, I took him sledding in my jacket.
Something as common as sledding, and believe me there has been a lot of it, was beyond Lila. She paused, thought about it and could only come up with snowy day. She wanted to say sledding but just couldn't get there. Once I said the word sledding, she was all over it. The conversation continued well beyond what I dictated above. It was like giving her the word sledding lit a fire under her. I wish my girl could say what was on her mind. It must be so frustrating for her. What four year old struggles when retelling a story about when they went sledding? Not many!
Prematurity coming back to bite us once again. . .
