You'll Never Know

. . .how much I love you until you have your own baby.   At least that is what I tell Savannah.  I certainly didn't get the depth of my mother's love until I held Savannah in my arms.  But, for some reason, I think Savannah gets it to some degree.  She operates on another level and takes love so seriously.  She understands when Alex and I tell her all we want for Christmas is love.  She even goes as far as wrapping nothing, well not nothing, and after opening it, Alex and I smile because we know it is "love" and we know it is real!  Savannah requests family days where we hang at home and snuggle/love each other.

Savannah puts love first.  She is that kid.  Love rules her life.  I often find her holding Adeline's hand while they are eating dinner at the table.  She stops to kiss her sisters on their foreheads in mid-play.  What other siblings do you see doing that?  And, what is most striking is that she is more concerned that you are happy or that you love something because, in the end, she is just happy that you are happy.  Today, we were talking about clothing.  We had stopped by Land's End in hopes of finding some cute spring clothes because where else does one shop for a girl this size?  I didn't like much of what I saw.  While driving away, Savannah mentioned that she liked something and I told her that was good.  She countered with, "Well it is more important that you like what I wear than me liking it."  Isn't this supposed to go the other way at this age?  Isn't she supposed to fight me or push the boundaries in clothing?  Well, if you have seen my sweet girl or looked at her closet, she is a proud conservative.  Maybe today I gained some insight as to why this isn't the case.  Maybe she knows I like cute and comfy so she does too because she wants me to love what she wears.  I guess I don't really believe that is why she is conservative, or shall I say on the younger side in her appearances.  I think she is just uniquely young at heart.  Regardless, it goes to show that she still puts me and my opinions first.

To top it all off, Savannah loves me in a way that I never thought possible.  I feel it growing deeper with each day, on BOTH sides.  While she is growing up and finding bits and pieces of independence here and there, she continues to push the love envelope daily.  Today, when pulling into the parking lot, the whole family in the car, Savannah asks, "Mommy, can I come up and give you a hug before you get out of the car?"  What seven year old wants life to stand still so she can take time out to hug her Mommy.  Out of the blue, she felt the need to shower me with her love.  One of her latest tricks is writing messages of love on address labels and placing them on items that Alex and I use daily.  They are stuck to our shoes, my purse and often our backs.  Yesterday, we found the valentine below hidden in our bed.  Today, I found a beautiful winter poem in the same place.

Savannah gave me my greatest gift.  She made me a mom and with each day, she fills me with love and deepens my gratitude.  I just don't think life gets better than this!  And yes, most say, "Enjoy it while it lasts.  She won't always care what you think etc."  But if you know my girl, you know she is different. 

Double click to read. . .

So Sweet

I can't get enough of Savannah when I see her bundled up.  Each morning she leaves the house in her hat, scarf, gloves and coat.  She is wearing it all when I pick her up at the end of her day as well.  I love the way she ties her scarf around her neck - always.  It just seems to fit her sweet personality.  I love how she can put all if it on without any help! 

With a day out of school for a doctor appointment followed by two snow days, I have had a lot of time with my big girl.  She is still the sweet Savannah that I have always felt very lucky to raise.  There are moments when she shows she is growing up and has less patience with her sisters and doesn't always bend over backwards to ALWAYS do the right thing.  But I guess it is part of the natural progression of growing up.   Overall, Savannah still leaves me in awe when I compare her to other kids.  She is unique.  She NEVER defies us and NEVER says anything mean.  This girl is so easy to raise.  Academics come very easy, compassion rules her heart and "sweet" is how everyone describes her.

I am so darn lucky to be her mom.  Given the choice, she still chooses to spend time with me over anyone else.  I cherish this as I continue to tell myself that it won't last forever.  Most of her friends would choose a play date over a Mommy date.  But I have the girl that told me just today, she wants to go to college somewhere close to home so she can come home everyday.  And, if she does get married, she wanted to know if she and her husband can live with me.  I told her, "Of course!"  This girl can't leave me.  I can't bare the thought of it.

I love you sweet girl!!

Winter Wallop 2011

Round one. . .

This looks much like the pictures I posted a year ago. I feel the need to document storms such as this one because the kids find it awfully fun to stand taller than the mailbox. Even Miss Adeline became Queen of the Mountain this time. The unfamiliar faces are Savannah's friends from school that were able to join us on our second snow day in a row.

While Daddy has wasted at least 5 hours shoveling during the past two days, the kids have taken full advantage of the time outdoors. Miss Lila still spends 90% of the time eating the snow!

Round two. . . (15 inches later)

Duet

They may not finish each others' sentences but they compliment each other when singing a duet.  It is a made up tune with some pretty funny/random lyrics that are not without God and Mary. 

I love Adeline's low note used for "airplanes."

She Did It

While driving home from the pool tonight, Savannah  reminded me that she needed to give her $100.00 to the children in Africa.  She has been saving up for a year.  Savannah hasn't spent on dime on herself during that time.  There have been many moments in the store when I encouraged her to use a couple dollars on herself when I am asked to buy her something.  She refuses and happily walks away from whatever it was she wanted.  Do I need to mention that I am pretty proud of her?

Next, she tells me, are kids in America.  She has recognized the need in our own country and so starts the saving of the next $100.00.  I love her compassion.  My girl has decided that she is saving the world one child at a time!

Medical Records

Over the holidays, Alex and I began the daunting task of organizing the girls' medical records into binders. We started with Adeline first, hoping to get the worst part over. It was a shock to the system when we were done organizing the paperwork into piles of separate disciplines. She has seen geneticists, feeding specialists, cardiologists etc. The list goes on and on. I had forgotten that I took her to the top doc in our area for orthopedics. He is nationally recognized and is the "it" guy for Cerebral Palsy.

When reviewing his summary report I found this:

I feel this is a girl who has developmental delay and does have some very mild increased tone. It is not clear to me that this girl will have a substantial motor palsy, and with the progress she has made, I have told the mother that it is very difficult to predict and that the range may be from her not being able to develop independent walking ability, meaning she will have to use crutches or walker. However, I feel more likely she will develop excellent independent walking ability and may be close to normal.

The summary then goes on to state that he would need to see her at two years of age to have a reasonable prediction. Although he backed a very disturbing outcome with that of a more favorable one, you don't have to ask which one lurks in the back of a parent's mind.

My point in bringing this to light is recognize how far we ALL have come. I almost don't remember the pain of being on pins and needles EVERY day while I wondered if Adeline would walk. I must admit that the above appointment was a blow to my optimism because I was looking for a "she will walk!" I was very frustrated that after being in the field for 50 years, this doctor couldn't give me a definitive answer. Those were such dark days. Dark with worry.

While at the pool tonight, I thought of this report and my heart sang. My girls were jumping in the pool, going underwater and for the first time, Adeline was learning to glide - a precursor to swimming. Walk she does, run she does (albeit slow), and swim she will.

My girls rock!

I didn't get the glides on video but here is a clip of Alex trying to teach Adeline to jump up and out off of the bench. I still can't believe she goes underwater.

Winter is Here!

Winter has finally settled into the Northeast.  We have had snow on the ground for a good week now.  With it comes snow pants, boots, gloves, very large coats strapped in five point harnesses and hats.  Not my preferred apparel but boy, the snow has been fun.

After the first real snow, we went sledding as a family. . . sans camera (I know, very unlike me).  What a wonderful time it was.  Miss I don't like to hang in the snow Adeline, fell in love with the white stuff and even came down on the sled solo.  How many times do you think I type, "What a difference a year makes?"  Lila, like last year, spends the entire time shoveling the snow into her mouth which creates a love hate relationship - mainly love.  Lila can't keep her mouth off of it and end eventually, it just becomes too cold.  When it comes to sledding, Lila is a daredevil.  She tried a hill that Savannah has never gone down solo without much coaxing.  Lila plopped her bundled bottom down on the sled and was off.  She went way too fast for my liking and I was thinking that I wish she had a helmet on.  After completeing the very bumpy and fast ride, I was sure I was going to hear crying.  Instead, it was pure joy and laughter.  DARE DEVIL! 

This year, Lila isn't the one that lingers outside, it is astoundingly Adeline.  She thought it was great fun to ride her scooter on the driveway while practicing to be a stunt double on some pretty impressive crashes into the snow.  Need I say, very unlike the Belle?

Today, we woke up to ice, ice and more ice.  School was canceled and the trees were bent over like 90 year old ladies.  The snow was crisp and crunchy and icicles were abundant.  It was the perfect recipe for the girls to spend some time outdoors.  All three of them love to eat ice.  Icicles are even better.  They had fun discovering how ice forms an all different surfaces.  They found the frozen layer on top of the snow curious and Savannah found some pretty neat designs on the ice that formed on the plants and playhouse.  I have to say it was pretty impressive.  So was shoveling the driveway.  That took much longer than expected but had to be done if we are to get out in the morning.  Once shoveled, it became the perfect place to ride all of our summer toys.