Lila's Conference

Our last Kindergarten conference ended with, "Check back in January.  I will know then."  So, off we went to see Mrs. Fisher this morning.  I was nervous, not knowing if we were going to walk into a learning disability or any other long term learning deficit.

Luckily, learning disabilities have been ruled out as far as Lila's teacher is concerned.  This is a teacher who is very experienced and considered to be The Best.  I believe her.  There are concerns about her focus and attention but that is something we have come to expect.  Preemies rarely escape it.  So far, Lila is expected to mainstream without instructional support.  I pray this continues.

Lila has done very well over the first half of the school year.  She is on grade level and continues to move forward at a pace that is closing that ominous GAP.  I must restate that Lila's class is a very academic and old class.  These kids can read, not the three letter word reading, read real books kind of reading.  Lila is not there.  She is still sounding out leveled readers.  I am proud of her regardless.

The last round of testing put Lila far above the grade level benchmarks in reading.   She is asked to perform certain skills in a minutes time.  Lila never made one error when naming her letters, their sounds or segmenting phonemes.   However, she is hanging at low average when compared to her class.  Did I mention these kids can read?!  She has mastered all the sight words for Kindergarten - yippee!  I am really proud of her for this.  She is starting to write and put all of her skills together.  However, she is slow.  She always needs extra time and extra instructions/examples.  We hope she will grow out of this but realize it might be who she is. 

Math seems to be her weakness.  She still struggles when counting items.  Lila doesn't use her strategies like crossing out the pictures as she counts.  There isn't a lot of drive to make sure she has the right answer.  She also hasn't acquired my favorite strategy, "Is this answer reasonable?"  Boy, can that solve half of your problems in elementary math.  Of course, one has to have drive in order to use this strategy.  It is all too easy to write an answer and move on.

After leaving the conference, I have a bunch of mixed feelings swirling around in my head.  Yes, I rejoice that she is on grade level, doing what she should be doing.  Do I wish she was at the top of her class?  Absolutely, it is who I am.  I see how easy school is for Savannah, the respect she has earned by the teachers for her academics and gentle, sweet behavior.  I wish the same for my other two.  I know their roads are different but I wish a love and ease of learning for all of my children.

It is the low average thing that gets me.  After all the work (both at school and at home) Lila puts into her learning, I just wish she would hang solidly in the top 50 percentile.  Where do these Kindergartner's come from?  How is it that they can read Magic Tree house books or a picture books to the entire class with ease and fluency?  Why are these the kids Lila is up against?


It was so much easier to be the parent of the Magic Tree house reader. . .


I love Lila just to same.  The worry just eats me alive.  It really does.




I was looking for a picture to end this post with and came across this.  It reminded me that report cards aren't what make strong bonds.  Academics don't make you a good friend.  I am proud to say that I would want Lila to be my friend.  She loves deeply, laughs hard and is very sensitive to other people and their needs.

Here she is loving her buddy who came back to visit after moving away last summer.

Isn't this what I want for her 20 years from now -  strong bonds, healthy relationships and a general feeling of confidence?  Give this girl a play date and a stage upon which to dance and she is happy and confident.  Sounds so simple.

Musings of Astronaut Jet

Adeline:  Mommy, no one wants to play with me (meaning her sisters) and I want someone to play boy things with me. 


Alex:  Can you hand me a carving knife (directed at me)?

Lila:  What is a carving knife?

Adeline:  Like a pirate's knife Lila.  Like the ones they hold.

Me:  What do pirates do with their carving knives?

Adeline:  They carve the other pirate.

YIKES!  Is this what boys talk about?



When I go to heaven I am going to tell God funny things about Eric and Jet.  (Eric preceded Jet and was a take off of Lila's pretend name Erica.)  He will laugh.



Me:  Adeline, are you going to have babies when you grow up?

Adeline:  Um, yes I will.  Only boy babies.



While watching the Duke vs. Maryland game.

Adeline:  The yellow team is Maryland, right?

Me:  Yes.  Adeline do you know where Maryland is?

Adeline:  Bradford Heights (her school)

Me:  What?  Do you think this basketball game is at your school?

Adeline:  No but the real Maryland is.  She wasn't here today though.

*Light bulb moment*

Me:  Adeline you are talking about Miss Marilyn, not Maryland!

Private Vs. Public

We are in the throes of choosing between private and public school education.  If you have followed this blog, you are well aware of how hard it was to pull Savannah from West Chester Friends and put her in public school.  It was hands down the right decision but a decision that was NOT easy.

Now we are exploring the opposite decision.  Should we pull Lila Grace from public school and send her to West Chester Friends School?

While the decisions look similar in nature, they are very different.   We pulled Savannah out of private school because the school refused to meet her at her academic level.  After beating our heads against a very hard brick wall, one that is a couple hundred years old, we realized that no matter what we said or did, the school was going to do what they have always done.  Thus, out with private school and in with public.  And yes, I repeat, we are so very happy that we made this choice.  Savannah is having to perform at a higher level (not quiet at her academic level but higher at least) and is recognized as a student that has fully met the requirements of 2nd grade.  We are also paying $0.00 dollars for this change.  Yippee.  I seem to worry at a lot less about the day in and day out happenings of her classroom now that it isn't costing me anything.

Our decision to pull Lila grace out of public school and place her in private school has very little to do with academics and much to do with her well being, confidence and general stability.  

Lila doesn't like school. 

It is hard for me to say it. 

She never wants to go. 

She doesn't care if she reads, even though she can.  Somewhere along the way, Lila's academic fire missed its lighting ceremony.  This personality doesn't work well in a public school setting.  Public school is results driven.  Think:  Drill and Kill!  It works, there is no question.  Lila can read at a Kindergarten level and is hanging right at average, sometimes, low average but average nonetheless.  Drill and Kill taught her to read, count, and spell.  It also taught her that doing well just means the work gets harder, not more enjoyable.  There is always a new word list, set of numbers, reading group or story that is waiting for her.  While I love the quick results and data driven results, my little girl doesn't.  I think she would rather learn in a more holistic manner.  West Chester Friends subscribes to holistic teaching.  While public school kids learn to read the Dolch sight words on a word ring, WCFS teaches these words over time with an exposure to a variety of meaningful texts.  I am not sure I have seen a meaningful text in public school but I can guarantee that Lila knows more sight words than the average Kindergarten student at WCFS.  Therein lies my dilemma.  I love that she can read (if you call three letter words and 60 sight words reading, I don't think I do), but I hate that she doesn't want to to climb out and walk into her classroom every morning. 

My gut tells me that giving Lila a chance to learn by doing, through themes and as a close knit group of students, her chance of LOVING learning increases.  Not that I really think it is going to solve her drive issue, I just hope she will want to go to school.  WCFS creates a family in the classroom.  They spend hours on the social piece and try very hard to let each individual shine.  Public school doesn't have time for this.  I think Lila needs to feel like she belongs to something more than The 100's Club or a center group.  She needs to feel loved at school.  She needs to feel understood - not scared to ask when she doesn't understand.  She needs to feel proud of her work and believe that it is meaningful.

Can West Chester Friends do trick?

Lila did her second admissions visit last week.  The first one was a disaster and very painful.  You can read about it here to get a sense of how strongly we must feel about T. Michelle and her ability to empower my girl!  We wouldn't be back if we didn't believe in the magic of T. Michelle.  Lila spent two hours with her last week and met us with a bright shining smile when we picked her up.  There was a bounce in her step.  During those two hours, T. Michelle made my girl feel special - IMPORTANT!  I think we have to give T. Michelle a chance to light Lila's fire.

We are still waiting for the final word from West Chester Friends.  So far, all signs are positive. 

My pocket book weeps, yet my heart is hopeful.

Her Rules

Recently, Savannah and I have gone back and forth about her picking up her room. We had agreed that she would clean it up by a certain time and she didn't. I got frustrated. She got frustrated but never said anything negative or disrespectful. I could see the frustration in her eyes though. Finally, I said, "If you think I'm being unfair, tell me. If you are mad at me, tell me why."

Savannah broke out in tears. I didn't understand. Eventually she said, "I have never been mad at you. That's one my rules, I won't let myself be mad at you. I love you too much."

Again I ask, "Where did she get all this wisdom and self control?"

I want to be more like her...

My Napping Girl

Everyday I hear, "Is it a nap day?" There is either rejoicing or a non-stop dialog of how she is going behave, be nice and not bug me by which she thinks she is escaping the nap. Today, we compromised. It is a nap day but she got to choose the location.

Lila Grace is laying beside me as I type this. I am very tempted to snuggle right up next to her.

I love this girl!

Christmas 2012

Our holiday is chalk full of traditions. My big girl especially remembers each and every one and makes sure they don't get left out. While I love them, I think we need to simplify next year. Between Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day, we are very busy. We don't even travel. This year, my greatest gift just might have been perspective. We will see how well I do at keeping this new found perspective and allowing it to create change in our 2012 Christmas.

Here are just some of the things that make our day enjoyable and memorable, yet hectic.


Christmas Eve dinner which is always Mexican Chicken Corn Chowder. My kids love it!

Pictures before Christmas Eve service because when else are they ever going to wear their dresses again?

Once home again, the girls feed the reindeer. . .

and bake their cooks for Santa. . .

Next up, the girls open Steve and Heather's gifts which are always beautiful ornaments from a land far away.

The girls change into their PJ's while the cookies bake. Once out of the oven, they place Santa's milk, cookies and many cards. Savannah made a spectacular toy for Santa. She used recycled materials and made something similar to a toy cannon. She thought Santa should get a gift too. Savannah has learned to cherish handmade gifts over store bought ones. She thought Santa would appreciate the same sentiment. Double click to read her very nice letter to guy in red!

Soon we are all pooped. Daddy reads, The Night Before Christmas, and the kids are quickly tucked in bed. They are keenly aware that Santa doesn't come if kids aren't sleeping.

After a late night for parents (I am sure many of you can relate!), the girls were awake at 7:00 a.m. and ready to fly down the stairs.

After stockings, we collect ourselves, have some breakfast and start into, what seemed to be, a marathon of gifts. Note to self. . . BUY LESS next year. Yep, we are changing our ways next year.


Here are some pictures that sum up my girls' Christmas!

And these are the moments and pictures I LOVED!

My girls in a nutshell.

Lila is SO hard to buy for. She doesn't want anything. Luckily, we found a few good ducks.

It wasn't a huge picture year for Savannah. Her nose was stuck in one of her many new books.

They were so sweet when opening a gift together.

My girls took time out to open gifts with their grandparents.

Savannah cherished each and every gift. She is a very thankful girl! I can't count the number of times she said, "Thank you!"

My favorite picture. . . It reminds me that the greatest gifts are truly the ones you already have. Swimming in new toys, this is who Lila wanted to play with. If we could leave the gifts out of Christmas, it would be the perfect holiday! Hmm. . .

Festive Amusment Parks

The idea seems a bit strange but is incredibly popular in our neck of the woods.  It seems that ever family I know, bundles up to freeze their bottoms off at an outdoor amusement park during the holiday season.  We chose to do it twice.

First Dutch Wonderland. . . 

Next up was Hershey.  We were joined by Baby Kate's family which was a good thing.  Daddy got two steps into the park and was hanging his head in a toilet which sent him back to the hotel rather quickly.  He tried to make it but, sometimes, you have to give in to sickness.  Kate's family did a great job of filling the void. This time, temps were intensely cold and eventually got the best of everyone. Soon the girls were back at the hotel and enjoying their nice cozy beds.  I've never seen my three girls share a bed so easily. Nothing like a late night in below freezing temps to put you right to sleep.

The next day, Daddy rallied and Grammy and Papa drove up to join in on the fun. We spent the day at Chocolate World and had a blast. My girls love that place. 

The house behind Kate and Lila is the most amazing Hershey "gingerbread house."  Hershey candy from top to bottom!

Working the chocolate factory is a always a hit!